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Whats the best advice you would give another mother about...

raising a good, wellbehaved, confident, smart child that saw you as a friends but also as their parent. My son is only 8 months old bbut i want him to have all these qualities and be able to come to me with anything. I so badly dont want to have a child that is a spoiled little brat or one that hides and hate me. Thank you!

sorry if this is a stupid qestion. Just didnt know if anyone had any advice. btw im a stay at home mom so i haver alot of time to devote to him and have activities for him.

Answer Question
 
masonsmommy921

Asked by masonsmommy921 at 3:44 PM on May. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Make them mind, help with chores, learn responsibility. Be consistent, be real in front of your child and play lots of games together. Have hobbies like bike riding, hiking, swimming, board games, movie night..laugh often! let them be kids in your home, but follow boundaries and have respect. (ie- don't freak when they spill the paint but don't let them paint the walls.) Try to involve them in things you are doing...gardening, laundry, dishes- work together. Let them be individuals and express themselves. Embrace your differences and teach them to have pride in their family name- "Were Meyr's and we don't do that!" Don't hover over them but let them learn from their mistakes.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:52 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • 3 peices of advice...
    1-buy the book Shepherding a childs heart by Tedd Tripp and read it.
    2-Start attending a good bible beleiving church.. it will help you to educate him in moral and charicter building activities!
    3-and NEVER EVER EVER EVER DISCIPLINE IN ANGER.
    MAKEMYDAY101

    Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 3:57 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • My biggest thing is that moms need to stop UNDERestimating their children. Stop saying, "I don't think he's old enough for that," or "He doesn't understand when I explain things."
    Hold your child to the highest level you can. It's much easier to lower your goals for them or your language just slightly when you realize they DON'T get it, rather than try to up what you expect from them after treating them like they're dumb for quite awhile.
    I never want to hear someone say their four year old can't understand death or that they're hurting an animal every again, unless that four year old is mentally handicapped in some way.
    RanaAurora

    Answer by RanaAurora at 3:57 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • YA... EVERYTHING RIA SAID.. ALSO..
    MAKEMYDAY101

    Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 3:58 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Oh, and show your children the same respect you want them to show you. This means don't yell and cuss at them, and then be shocked when it comes back to you. If you think it's rude for them to turn off the TV or change the channel during your shows, don't do it to them unless they are losing the privilege entirely.
    RanaAurora

    Answer by RanaAurora at 3:59 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • You're off to a good start by asking the question! You've gotten some good ideas already. Some other ideas are: Try to find other people who share your values to use as a sounding board. If you know someone who is doing an awesome job with their kids, then spend some time around them and see what they are doing. Also, read some parenting books just to get perspective - even if you choose not to use the techniques of a certain parenting method, you might learn something about why certain things work well and why certain other things don't work well. There are plenty of different theories out there, and most of them probably have at least some valuable insight - you can use what you want and leave the rest. Choose how you want to do things and be cosistent with it, but don't be afraid to try something different if you find it isn't working for you or your child.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:20 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • PRAISE, CHILDREN THRIVE ON PRAISE, PRIDE, TEACH THEM SELF PRIDE AND HOW WONDERFUL IT FEELS WHEN A JOB IS WELL DONE. QUALITY TIME, SOMETIMES AS STAY AT HOME MOMS WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO BOND, MAKE TIME, THE CHORES WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT!
    older

    Answer by older at 5:11 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • First off, you can give them respect without treating them like an adult. I have things I can do because I am the mom. They need to learn the boundaries. They need to respect their elders and others. My children do volunteer work with me. We deliver meals and buy things for Santa cops and many other things. They donate old toys and clothes to charity. I do not nor will I ever treat my children like my equals. They are children, they need to be treated like children. If you do not discipline in anger then how do you discipline? You get angry, just be consistent with your punishments. It is best to let your child know that emotions are okay. My children say "ma'am and sir" they use the words aunt and uncle before their relatives names. They know if they talk back they have to sit with the soap. We have great fun, but we have rules and guidance. IF I don't do it who will.
    JuliaMBrink

    Answer by JuliaMBrink at 5:30 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • teach boundaries, teach manners, teach your child to say please and thank you and that holding the door open for someone is a nice thing to do. Your son is still very young, but it starts early! Reinforcement even through difficult times is key to making sure that your child has the lesson firmly in his head, and setting a good example is the way to make him believe that what you are telling him is really the right way to act or the right thing to do. Always be prepared to explain to the best of your ability about things that he wonders about, like religion and sex, people who are different, violence, and big issues. A lot of what he will learn growing up will be from what he sees you do. If you act politely, graciously, and confidently, your child will too.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 5:47 PM on May. 29, 2009

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