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Did you feel this way if you had a c/s?

I love my son more than anything in this world. He's soooo beautiful and I'm grateful he's as healthy as he is. I couldn't ask for anything more. I had a c/s with him and it's been a year. It still bothers me. It doesn't bother me as bad as it used to but I still can't get over everyone I know saying they held their babies as soon as they came out and I never got to experience that. I felt as if I did something wrong and that I will never experience what its like to have a natural delivery. Am I strange for this? Like I said, I'm more accepting but I go through spurts where it bugs me. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on May. 29, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (7)
  • You shouldn't feel guilty for feeling that way... there is nothing wrong with wanting to hold your baby at birth. I don't know why you had to have the c/s but I'm sure it wasn't your fault. In most cases a c/s is necessary for safety of the baby so while you did miss holding him, be glad that you have him. My first was a natural vaginal birth so I got that experience then, but my second was a premee and c/s. I was just so happy that he was alive and ok the rest didn't bother me. I wish I had some deep words of wisdom to make you feel better but I don't. Just try to focus on the fact that you have a nice healthy little boy. Good luck.

    Answer by Lovejoy0303 at 4:45 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Don't feel guilty! I feel the same way! I did not have a C/S but my son was born 3 months premature. He was over a week old before I held him for the first time. He is now 9 months old and perfect, but I HATE the doctor that was "in charge" when he was born. It was not my OB some other random OB. But I hate her for taking away the "good" part of his birth....So I totally understand where you are coming from.

    Answer by mere417 at 4:52 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I think it's a normal or common feeling, but natural births are not always the fairytale experience either. I had my first naturally and only got to see her for a few seconds before she was whisked away to the nursery; it was nothing like I had imagined it would be and I felt I missed something. My twins were c-section babies, and even though I didn't get to hold them I did see them both for about the same amount of time I saw my first. Because the first moments with all 3 of mine were more scary than happy, I try to think about other early memories with my babies in place of those. I think it helps.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:59 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • It bothers me as well. It bothers me that for the first 5 days of his life he was basically the doctor´s child because his doctor didn´t start treating his jaundice until it was almost at dangerous levels. And that I didn´t get to be there for his first bath or for him to be weighed. And that I didn´t even see him naked for 3 days (I felt like I was just taking everyone´s word for it that he was a boy) because I had such a severe infection from my c-section. I feel like I was robbed of the natural birth I was dreaming of. And it bothers me that I don´t even have a picture of him until he was an hour old.
    I am very thankful that as soon as he was born and cleaned up I was able to hold him for a little while before they took him to be bathed and weighed :)
    But there is no reason why I cannot try for a natrual birth next time.

    Answer by JasonsMom2007 at 5:07 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • It doesn't, because it was for their health and mine. I came close to dying, hence the emergency c-section. Plus my son was in respiratory distress at birth so he was rushed to NICU. Yes it does suck that I didn't get to hold them right away, it sucks a lot. But my life, and the lives of my twins were saved because of my c-section.

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 5:23 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I felt the same way and still do some times and my son is 4. I was in so much pain after I had him that I didn't get to be the loving mom I wanted to be. I didn't get to hole him right away like I wanted. I also felt like I let him down some how. I think it's normal to feel this way or at least I hope it is. LOL


    Answer by joleensboys at 5:39 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Oh hunn, please don't feel guilty. I know you feel that you got short-changed of another type of experience, but you have to turn your sadness around into a positive emotion. Your son didn't come out with a conehead like most all vaginally birthed babies do. :)
    I do understand, though. I was with my daughter when she had a c/s for my granddaughter to be born. She reacted negatively to the morphine and they were beginning to put her out as it was time to take the baby to the nursery. I demanded that they bring the baby to her face so they could touch each other cheek to cheek. My daughter opened her eyes long enough to see her daughter and I put her hand on her daughter's foot.
    She doesn't have a memory of it, but she told me she is grateful that some sort of connection was made before they were separated. It's what all mom's and newborns deserve, even if they'll be together a few hours later.
    Hugs to you.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 6:42 PM on May. 29, 2009

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