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So today my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years really hurt me.

I went to his house after dropping my daughter at school, and went to check my CM and found the website AdultFriendFinder at the top of the bar. After clicking on it, I found several pictures of my bf nude soliciting sex from MALES.

I knew when we first started dating that he was bi, but I didn't expect this to happen. I read a message he got yesterday from some guy that said,"if you ever wanna hook up just let me know," and the previous one involved the guy telling my bf explicit sexual things he likes...including anal sex and oral sex.

I confronted my bf about it, and he told me that he just gets a thrill out of soliciting sex and had no intentions of doing anything..

Do I believe him? He's never given me reason to disbelieve him in almost 5 years!

Do I leave him?

He deleted the account, even against my urging not to, and I think he's really sorry, but

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on May. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Amber, if you repost to your question, please keep my anonymity..

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I wouldn't say leave him, but definitely have a discussion on the type of relationship you have and expect from him since it sounds like you may not have done that with him yet, then go from there. If you have already been through all that then he definitely breached the Oral contract and I would leave him. Even though I am Bi, it is no excuse for me to be soliciting sex from any one other than my fiance.

    Answer by MythicMMM at 6:03 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Oh, and get checked for STD, you can never be too careful.

    Answer by MythicMMM at 6:04 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Some people actually like the thrill of the online thing. It is up to you if that is something the 2 of you can agree on.

    If he has does nothing in 5 years to make you not trust him, then I would say let it go......


    Answer by Tinamarie79 at 6:30 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • if you knew he had those interests then what's the problem? Deleting the acct? lol He probably did that for show. He'll create another one. Ppl can't help themselves. They have a fetish and others can't stop it. You don't even live together so what do you care what he does? he's not married to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Well, anon@ 6:43, that's a good point.

    BUT! After exclusively seeing someone for the past 5 years excuse me for being a little defensive over MY man.

    And so what if we were married? Would you recommend the same to me?

    We've discussed getting a place recently, not that is matters, but this is a very personal problem. Thanks for your useless blurb.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I know if I found that on my hubs computer I would be feeling hurt. I really think you need to sit down and talk to him. Let him know that you are feeling hurt- as you thought the 2 of you had something great going on. I don't know if he did cheat, or would cheat- to be safe you might want to consider both getting tested for STDs. It might be a good idea to seek couples counseling to help work thru this. I wish you luck and hope everything works out!

    Answer by MizLee at 9:53 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • honestly.. i would wonder if u was being to close minded where he didnt feel like he could come to me with his sexual thrills

    Answer by preggoinmn at 11:39 PM on May. 29, 2009

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