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Not sure how to get over our past.

My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for 8 years. I llove him very much. We have not had a normal relationship though. I am an alcoholic (in recovery now), and I wasn't exactly faithful, and neither was he. I had a child from another man, and he had a baby with another woman. He was with me through some of the hardest times of my life. He stuck by me. Well now, I have cleand my life up, and we have had serious discussions about our past, and we are trying to "start over". We have admitted 'our" mistakes and want to start new. The problem I am having is that every time we are apart, my mind is thinking that he is cheating on me, or doing something shady. I don't know if we can ever truely get beyond this. My question for some the women in here is if you have forgiven your man, can you ever get over it????

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on May. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I am not sure you ever get over it, but you can forgive....Love conquers all.

    Along with starting over you have to also have a renewed trust. Let go of the past, move into the future.

    If anything was or is happening it will eventually come out in the wash. Relax and enjoy the beginning of your new life.

    Answer by Tinamarie79 at 6:25 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Nope..once he's done it, it will always be in the back of your mind..same for him about will probably take a long time to gain trust between once another..but if it's worth, go for it! good luck!

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 6:32 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Have you tried any relationship counseling? Or even just each of you getting some individual counseling? Even though you have discussed everything and are trying to move on, there may be other things that are more deep seated that are causing these problems. A good counselor can help you make sure that EVERYTHING is out in the open and that you guys have the tools to move on, to communicate and to really build a more solid relationship.

    Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:26 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • That might work. There has been so much between us, we may need it. I left so much out, no time for a life story. I just sometimes drive myself crazy with the worrying, and I don't want to do that. I really want to work, but I wonder if I will ever be able to move on with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on May. 29, 2009

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