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opposite ends of the sexual spectrum?

I dont know how to start this.......... my husband, as im sure like most, wants A LOT of sex. If he doesnt get it everyday he isnt happy. And if he does get it everyday, he wants it 2 times a day. And it will keep escalating from there. Then he needs different sexual positions.............more and more , harder and harder and just. He is just never ever satisfied. No amount of toys is enough. We even went as far as ALMOST going to swingers club........ i decided it wasnt a good idea. Cause like in the past it will never be enough. Which in turn has made ME feel like im not enough.

We have not clicked sexually in a long time. Pretty much since we got married. We were together for about 6 years before we got married. Then POOF things went downhill, sexually. Not for me though, im happy with the way things are to a point. Obviously. Since i feel like im not enough for him thats where that point is.

What do we do???



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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on May. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Did you try talking to him about it?
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 10:23 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • oHHHHHH of course ALL the time. We just got done. And his solution is to basically keep all his feelings inside and just let things be...........................

    but i feel like that will end up with him maybe cheating. I mean in the long run. Cause his physical needs are not being met. When i told him that he just kinda of shrugged his shoulders and said "well i would never do that cause i have too much to lose."

    oscarandbaby

    Answer by oscarandbaby at 10:30 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • its like im fine with the way things are but he isnt. He wants more and more and more MORE MORE MORE. Maybe introduce another person. Go and have other partners................... it never ends for him

    how do we find a happy medium??? im so all over the place
    oscarandbaby

    Answer by oscarandbaby at 10:32 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I figured you tried that, but you know some people don't so I thought I'd put it out there...... Hummm... marriage consuoling mabey, I don't know what else you can do, you can't change his desires, he's the only one that can do that.
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 10:38 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • yeah, i dont know why i asked this question

    I kinda already know its just where we are and most likely will be forever.

    Him never happy sexually and me never feeling like i will ever be enough
    oscarandbaby

    Answer by oscarandbaby at 10:45 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • If you don't get it fixed then the relationship will eventually end. No one can live indefinetaly unhappy. I would go with marriage counseling and see if that works. Sexual compatiability is important in a relationship and if it is so different that alone can ruin a relationship. It will eventually affect other parts of the relationship. Other than marriage counseling, I don't know what to tell you. Sorry.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:17 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • oh yes I definetly want counseling FOR SURE

    but................ judging from who he is and how he is............... i just think it wont do much. But you never know until you try

    in fact i think i will call our church tomorrow. i think they offer free counseling
    oscarandbaby

    Answer by oscarandbaby at 11:55 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Is it possible he has an addiction to sex? Especially if he is so frustrated if he doesn't get it. I found this link maybe you can discuss this with him, or even a pastor, elder, therapist or someone you trust. Was he abused as a child?? Do you know his history? If he won't answer any questions or gets defensive, I'd seek professional help.

    http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 12:57 AM on May. 30, 2009

  • you know its funny you should say that, i actually told him,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i think it was about 3 yrs ago, i thought he was addicted to sex, but maybe more of a very minor addiction???

    AND actually we BOTH were abused as children. Him MUCH worse than I. He actually didnt even tell me until we were married!!! Which to this day pisses me off. He has actually been having sex since he was about 5 yrs old!!! Not just touching (which is what happened to me) but FULL ON sex , oral, EVERYTHING.

    we both talk about that and how we both believe that obviously has something to do with it. But , again, im not sure how much help counseling will do for his sexual needs. Maybe just more insight to himself. Which is always helpful...............

    thanks for the link, i'll check it out
    oscarandbaby

    Answer by oscarandbaby at 1:54 AM on May. 30, 2009

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