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I dont look like me anymore, any advice

I have had 2 babies born within 13 months and my last baby is 4 months old and doesnt sleep through the night yet (although I am not complaining). I am extremely tired. My eyes are bloodshot red ALL THE TIME. My energy levels are low. I am always irritable. And to add to this, I am 20 pounds heavier than I was before I had kids. I dont like the way I look right now. I used to love the way I looked before I had kids. Especially right out of the shower when I stand butt naked in front of the mirror, all I see is stretch marks, bloated belly with hanging skin, eyes that are bloodshot red and bags around them, and hair that needs to be fixed. I swear if I didnt know myself, I would think I was a different person. LOL.

I dont need any bashers right now. This could be a VENT, but I also need some advice on how to start loving my NEW self. I do exercise and drink lots of coffee. LOL

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on May. 29, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • welcome to motherhood :) just remember you're not the only one looking or feeling this way :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I have the same problem with my body, only I'm 50 pounds heavier and I was already overweight. The only thing I keep in mind when I don't like the way I look is the quote "confidence is sexy". I don't know if that helps you, but it helps me go out in public.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Remember what amazing things your body has done by growing and giving birth to 3 children. There will be a time soon where you can make yourself a priority again, but for the time being it's all about the kids.

    Remember, one day they will be in school (and sleeping through the night).

    You can start now by 1. eating well, 2. exercising, 3. getting sleep (haha, right?), and 4. take a multivitamin.

    Drink plenty of water.

    Make sure you take time to yourself. My DH and I try to work that I get at least 1 day a week where I go off for a couple hours, or he takes the kidoo out of the house.

    Remember, the first years of childrearing are the hardest, and you have 3!

    *hugs* you'll be fine.

    Answer by Arkaidy at 11:11 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I'm right there with you. If only I would have known I would've appreciated my body a little more. I use to love lingerie but now when I see it I want to :( I'm sure it will get better though.

    Answer by michelle0228 at 12:23 AM on May. 30, 2009

  • Good start - learning to love the new you! Take your thoughts captive. Only concentrate on the positive things you think about yourself - that you are a good mother, etc. Put time and energy into your hobbies. If you don't have one, start something new! When you are learning about something or creating something with your hands you are naturally more happy. Sew, knit, paint, walk, jog, bike, garden, whatever, just as long as you enjoy it and you are learning and creating. Set goals for yourself in LOTS of areas so you can see what you achieve. If your only goal was your "skinny" pants and you can't wear them, you'll be down. If you have spiritual, relational, friendship, mothering, hobby/creative, physical, household, etc goals then surely you will have accomplished something each month and you can feel confident in at least that area. It will make the transition easier as you learn to love your new self.

    Answer by GrowingMama at 12:54 AM on May. 30, 2009

  • You've got the right paradigm...loving your new self. Because the person you were died with the birth of your first child.

    Instead of bothering with the mirror image, take a look at your mental image. Look at what you can do! You're managing TWO little ones! That is frankly amazing.

    Or maybe it's insane....**smile**

    There's got to be a ton on your plate and you're managing it. You're becoming stronger and wiser every single day. Good for you!

    When you look at the woman in your mirror, stop focusing on her appearance. You can bet she doesn't care what you LOOK like but rather on what you ARE like.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:31 AM on May. 30, 2009

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