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Is it normal to feel guilty all the time? I don't feel like I do enough for my child but I don't know what else I can do??

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nursegirl1115

Asked by nursegirl1115 at 12:00 AM on May. 30, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • what is it that you feel you're not doing enough of??
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 12:01 AM on May. 30, 2009

  • give your child what you can...the most important thing is spending time together and showing you love them....
    rissa1789

    Answer by rissa1789 at 12:03 AM on May. 30, 2009

  • Does he get decent food, decent clothes, a nice place to sleep? GREAT!
    Does he have a toy or two? AWESOME!

    Yes, you can spend every moment of every day trying to cram in learning and a wide variety of experiences. But you know what is the BEST thing to do? Have a storytime each day (even if it's at bedtime), sing silly songs to him now and then, and let him play and explore on his own. Play is the number 1 way that toddlers and preschoolers learn. And that's not play with "educational" toys. That's play with open ended toys like an empty box and blocks.

    Trying to spend every moment of every day with him will drive you nuts and is NOT the best thing for him. So go with the years of research - you have permission to slack off. It's good for him (and you!)
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:10 AM on May. 30, 2009

  • I personally think the way you are feeling is a normal mother reaction. My husband always says if I question myself about my parenting, i'm doing really good becuase those mothers who don't question if they could do anything better don't put their kids first. Remember $ is tight, love is more than enough, and you will always find another woman who SEEMS to be a better mother. As long as you love them and show that, you're doing fine!!!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 12:11 AM on May. 30, 2009

  • Ohhhh the guilt thing...it kills me too! I feel your pain! You mentioned a husband, so you're obviously not having the issues that cause the primary part of my guilt (not seeing my son all of the time because of custody split with son's father). I think why we women have so much guilt is that we feel that we have to "be all" to our children- ensure their happiness, make sure they have no wants/needs, anticipate everything, be experts on everything. And then we compare ourselves to other mothers or gauge our success by our children and their reactions to us or what we do. I do it and it's exhausting and sometimes I cry because I feel like I'm a failure and will never be a good enough mother- I think those of us that feel guilty, without actual objective evidence to say we are actually remiss in something- are our own worst enemies and in the end, we just end up hurting ourselves and exhausting ourselves & thats not good!
    1mamallama424

    Answer by 1mamallama424 at 3:59 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I have felt that way several times I have a 17 mo. I have read some articles for some helpful tips on how to improve her daily schedual. I think that as long as you are doing all that you can do & ur child has a home, clothing, some toys, food, & love that is great. I do arts & crafts w/ my DD. We read every day (she is in love w/ books). We run outside each day that we can. We also have down time (in addition to nap) I read somewhere that if u add in some down time during the day that gives their minds/brains time to process the new info. they are getting every min. This helps a lot w/ us so we simply play on the floor w/ her little ppl stuff or quietly/calmly do something that sooths both of us. I try to expose her to as many things as I can & do it all for free! Library 2 times a week, playgroup, walks, making friends to go visit, playgrounds, etc. I am sure you are doing just fine though we all feel this way sometimes.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 8:42 PM on May. 30, 2009

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