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my daughter is touching her private parts!!!!!

its soooo frustrating my 4 yr old daughter keeps touching her private parts..i keep telling her to stop doing it and its wrong and gross but she hides her room and locks the door. I know this is a really weird question but can someone tell me how to make her stop...this is really frustrating sometimes i find her in her room humping a i need to seek professional help?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on May. 30, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • DOn't tell her its wrong!!! Its very normal for kids to do that, and making them feel that its shameful or wrong can be very detrimental. You should encourage her to do it in private and limit it, but don't tell her she can't do it. You also do not want to tell her her privates are dirty. Just make sure she washes her hands before eating (which she should do anyway). If it become excessive or interferes with play and associating with others, you may want to talk to the pediatrician, but evne humping the pillow is normal. It rubs on a place that may feel good. The touching and rubbing are methods of self soothing, and like I said are a normal part of development.

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 6:22 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • At first I was going to say its a normal thing for a child to explore his/her body until you got to the part about humping the pillow. She has seen that somewhere or something is going on, and you definitely need to find out what it is.I don't mean to scare you, but, you really should find out.

    Answer by Kat122 at 3:28 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Dont you dare tell her it's wrong!!!!! There is nothing wrong with touching your own body! It is perfectly normal! If you asked a doctor they would tell you the same. And probably think you were crazy for even calling. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Who in the world ever told you it was wrong to touch yourself? (as long as your not in public...that is) Maybe her hormones are kicking in a little early. What type of stuff are you watching on the TV? Any sex scenes? People getting very close? She maybe doing it b/c you are making such a big deal out of it, and it's something that she can do even if you tell her she cant. She's got control on that one.

    Answer by forevermom75 at 3:32 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • If I were you, every time you see her touching herself, I would ask her to go wash her hands. Tell her that we don't touch our privates like that, and if we do we wash our hands because our privates are dirty, that is where our pee comes from. I would just explain it that way. And as for the humping the pillow I don't know. Maybe all these behaviors are related. I would take her to the dr, as soon as you can. Ask about the behaviors and see what she has to say. It may be possible that someone has abused your daughter, this type of behavior is very very common in children who have been sexually abused. I am a foster parent and also a victim of child hood sexual abuse. So please see a doctor as soon as you can.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I agree with forevermom75. She is right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Oh and I'm so sick of people always jumping to the child has been sexually abused because they touch themselves. NOT the case. Children do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • First. please DO NOT tell your child her privates are dirty. Like a PP post, I was going to say this is normal behavior until you mentioned humping the pillow...that made me concerned that she possibly has seen/experienced something of an adult nature. Counseling or just talking to her might be in order.

    Answer by benjamink at 3:43 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I definitely don't think you should tell her it's wrong. It's not wrong for children to be curious about their own bodies. I'm not even sure why you're mad at her for it. Now if she was touching someone else's private parts then I could see being concerned. Have you asked her why she is doing it?? Even though she may not know what everything is, she does know when something feels good. children have sensation in their private areas too, usually it just takes them a little longer to figure it out. She probably doesn't understand what she is even doing.

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 3:45 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Watch her closer and talk to her. Even though she is only four you have to bring it on her level. I used the anatomically correct verbiage for private parts. My kids understood. Dont make her feel bad and dont tell her its dirty. But I agree with Kat she is being more than just curious. Hopefully no one has done anything to her to have this sort of habit. Don't panic just gain her trust and dont make her feel self conscious or that she has done anything bad.


    Answer by Vivian63 at 3:45 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Tell her it's wrong and gross is just going to make life hell for her, so quit doing that. It's natural for her to be touching herself, it feels good and it's not sexual for them, you just tell her that if she touches her privates it's to be done IN private, but first you need to tell her that it's NOT wrong and it's NOT gross, it's normal and natural, and she needs to quit feeling bad about it

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 3:48 PM on May. 30, 2009