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How to keep men from being used as ATM machines?

If a woman refuses to let her kids see their father, should the man be able to (legally) withhold child support? I think that would keep women from using men as "sperm donors"...they want the baby, but theydon't want anything else to do with the father. I think it's wrong.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on May. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Why do people say, "just take her to court" like the courts are going to do anything?

    The courts make money for the state off of collected child support (matching federal dollars for every dollar of child support they collect in that state) so the court's vested interest is in making non-custodial parents pay.

    Fathers, generally speaking, have greater earning power than mothers so they can get more federal dollars by keeping men paying.

    They don't give a crap about whether fathers and their children have a relationship because they, like the rest of us, are bombarded with the message that only mothers are good and all fathers are bumbling idiots.

    Besides, mothers are THE voting bloc now. G-d forbid we piss off mothers by holding them accountable for their actions! It would be political suicide.

    To answer the question, no. We're still better off keeping visitation and support as separate legal issues.

    Answer by Avarah at 4:31 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • It really depends. If the father is abusive or violent than he shouldnt be anywhere near the children. But since the children never asked to be born, he will still have to support them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I think that if two people make a baby they should both have to pay to raise it.Even if the other parent is not invoved due to whatever the reason is its the responsable thing to do and the man that is beeing kept from his child should take action and take the matter to court!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • If he wants his visitation and it's court ordered... show up with an officer with your paperwork in hand and if she refuses, he can have her butt sent to jail the same as if the man refuses to pay child support he goes to jail if she pushes it.
    Wanting out of child support because you don't get visitation is a cop out. That's the nicest thing I can say about it because regardless of what the other parent does, the child didn't ask to be born and it's not going to feed, clothe, and take care of themself. Step up and pay the money regardless... if she's not letting the child go, call and officer to assist you in pick ups.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 4:41 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Lisa Ann, that doesn't work in all jurisdictions. Here in Texas, for example, the appropriate law enforcement agency to call is the County Sherrif. However, if you don't happen to know that then you call the cops and they tell you that they can't get involved in custody disputes. So say you hail a passing constable and ask them for help and they tell you, "sorry, no can do."

    And that's Texas. Many communities just absolutely will not give law enforcement agencies any ability in a custody situation beyond documentation, and even then they try to talk you out of it.

    As for a contempt charge - oh no. Mommies don't get contempt and if they do there's no penalty involved. Seriously, check some stats on what kind of percentages we're talking. Men get thrown in jail. Women get a slap on the wrist and "oh, don't you be silly like this again!"

    It's comforting to think the law is blind to gender, but it's not.

    Answer by Avarah at 4:57 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I am in Texas... and they will go with you... if the custodian refuses the 3rd visit, she or he will be hauled off to jail.. had a friend do that to his ex ;)

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:35 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • And she deserved it by the way... and she was really pissed, but oh well... he was paying child support, he deserved to visit with his child.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:36 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • OP

    I don't think it's a cop-out to withhold child support if the mother refuses to allow the father to see his children. I think it would provide INCENTIVE for her to stop acting like a jerk and to allow her kids to have a relationship with their dad. No visitation=no money. A lot of times, women will withhold visitation because dad got a new girlfriend and now mom is jealous, or mom just doesn't like the father and wants to make things hard for HIM. But if he stops paying child support, she's the FIRST ONE to yell "deadbead dad!!".

    Why is it that in our society, racism is not tolerated, discrimination against people with disabilities is not tolerated, discrimination against obese people is not tolerated, but it's ok for a woman to keep her kids from seeing their father?? Pretty f*cked up, imo...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on May. 30, 2009