Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What is happening to us?

My soon to be 13 year old daughter and I are starting to have problems. Things she does are really annoying to me (like putting her feet on things, leaving her shoes everywhere, or even the way she thinks certain things are funny, when I think they are just plain gross and distasteful). I know I am stressing her out, and she is stressing me out. My question is this: Is this normal, should I continue to correct her? I really feel that it is especially important now to stand up for how I believe she should behave? Am I right or wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on May. 30, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • Your right but she is at that odd age, not a child but not a woman. she is trying to find her place in life. Maybe the change of life is about to happen so she is just having a rough time herself. Don't let her get away with it and continue to discipline her as you did before.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 4:55 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Oh it's the age, 13 year old girls are horrible creatures, trus me, I was one. Stick with the game plan. If she's doing something that is unacceptable then it's unacceptable, she will probably fight you on it, but stand your ground. Its not your job to be nice, it's your job to raise a teenager that will, (and she will) turn into a responsible adult. Bless your heart, I have a 10 year old daughter now, and so far she's still sweet, but I know it won't be much longer before she is hatefull! LOL

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 5:41 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Choose your battles carefully, mom, or you will alienate your daughter.
    She is testing you and her limits, just like when she was three.
    Try to find activities that the two of you can do together, just to keep communication open.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:55 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • She is doing what is normal for a hormonal, pubescent 13 yr old girl. She is stuck between a child and a woman. SHe is going through so much. Have patience and ignore the small stuff because in the end, it is all small stuff. Pick your battles. Have a girls day or night once in a while. Just you and her. Good luck, I have a boy going through puberty and there are days that I would like to give him away. LOL!!! Love him but sometimes I just don't like the behavior.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:13 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Welcome to life with a teenager, it's going to get worse before it gets better. Pick your battles and don't let the little things stress you out.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:26 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • I think its normal to be odds but choose your battles. This is all parts of indep. yes she needs to pick up after herself, and not put her feet up on things if that is not acceptable. But honestly.... to get annoyed b/c she thinks something is funny that you don't......
    There are LOTS of BETTER BATTLES ahead. Save your energy for the REALLY IMPORTANT things. Stick to your lines for what is imp. but are you sure you're not being hormonal too??????
    Express yourself clearly and model the behavior you want some of it she's going to be okay with right now MOST IF NOTALL YOU DO IS GOING TO ANNOY HER. ... its rebellion time.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 7:47 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • i don't agree 100 % i think she is trying to be who she is. my new husband doesn't like how my son acts. like he always disagrees with anything & everything like he is mr know it all. it does annoy me but heck i'm not going to put him down & tell him to stop being himself. he will grow out of it and it's easier then trying to change someone. i think you should pick your battles & not always be waring against her or you will develop a feeling in her that she is just not good enough for you or that who she is wrong. i try to tell my husband he just has to learn to accept my son. he doesn't have to love him but he must never say anything to my son that would hurt his feelings or down play who he is trying to be. you just have to be very gentle with kids especailly when they are at an age where they feel what they do & say is ok but if raised with good example & not really hurting anything then why make small things a big issue!

    Answer by melody77 at 10:28 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • My sister and I just had this conversation over the weekend. It is so irritating when they are getting older and you have to hound them like you did when they were 3. Seems natural that they would grow up some, but we think it gets worse before it gets better. All part and parcel of being a parent I guess. Irritating to keep them under your thumb but if you don't they easily slip away. Keep up the good work, you will get her may pull your hair out in the process but it will grow back lol.

    Answer by salexander at 2:54 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.