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my 3 year old... long!!!

my DS will be 3 on june 30th.... he is driving me crazy!!!

he refuses to talk, more than what is necessary is ever said.
he wont be potty trained. he knows how, he does it completly on his own, whiping and all, but wont unless he feels like it , if hes busy playing he will ask for a diaper, and if i dont put one on him he will jsut pee his pants then take them off and put on a new pair.

also he loves taking things apart, im talking anything, the remotes, his cars, flash lights, you name it..

im at my wits end with him thought, he refuses to let me teach him, he refuses to play with anyone,

and yes im a SAHM, but he goes to the YMCa atleast 5 hours a week...

what should i do? is he normal? should in i just let him grow at his own pace?

Answer Question
 
2cuteboysrmine

Asked by 2cuteboysrmine at 5:51 PM on May. 30, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (14)
  • He sounds very smart, he might just be taking things apart because he's bored with the actual object and wants to see how it works... discovery play... having toys in the house that are meant to be taken apart might help with that. Go for something thats aimed for a little higher age so it challenges him, just be cautious of choking hazards. As for the potty thing it just sounds like he's found a way to assert his independence. You could try a reward system, for example 1 chocolate chip every time he goes in the potty, or 1 m&m...something little that means a lot to him but won't hype him up on sugar. Sticker charts work well too, and then earning so many stickers could be worth a big prize that he gets to choose. And if he goes in his pants then he looses a sticker.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 6:11 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • As for the talking, I wouldn't be to concerned as long as he CAN talk. If he can say full sentences and relate his feelings and is just choosing not to, its probably just a stage. Some children prefer to talk less then others and there's nothing wrong with that. However, if he's still baby talking for example 1-2 word phrases, or can't say very much, that could be a speech problem. If your that concerned the pediatrician would be the one to talk to, but my guess is he's content to just observe his world rather then vocalize about it
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 6:14 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • ive tried treats. he still jsut pees when he wants, then gets his treat....

    as for the toys.. every toy we have bought him that is ment to be taken apart he dosent like

    ive tried toys for older kids, say up to about ages 9-10 he still gets bored with them,,,,

    im not sure if a sticker chart would work, do you think hes capable of understanding it?
    2cuteboysrmine

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 6:15 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • umm hes still jsut at maybe 2-3 word phrases now maybe 4-5 on some things...

    the pedi says im setting unrealistic goals for my kids... shes no help
    2cuteboysrmine

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 6:16 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • My son turned 3 in january and I started his sticker chart the day after his birthday. First I said he had to get 10 stickers to get a prize and he could earn a sticker by peeing in the potty. I also started potty training him the same day so it all was a new concept and there was no punishment for going in his pants. I mean he didn't get the sticker but he didn't loose one either. After a couple weeks he understood so I added the loosing the sticker clause. After about a month he was completely potty trained and I up'd the sticker goal to 20 for a prize because he was getting more then 10 stickers every few days. As for the talking have you tried not getting him something unless he uses his words. Like at dinner time get yourself a plate and wait for him to say something like where is my food, or i'm hungry before you get his. Never responding to pointing or gesturing if you know he knows the word will also help
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 6:24 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • he will tell me he wants to eat... i dont resopond to guestures,, so thats why he talks just enough to get by..

    juice, snack, treat, i wanna eat, i yuckied< POOPED>
    2cuteboysrmine

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 6:27 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I'd be looking for a second opinion. The lack of communication and refusing to play with others are concerns. It could be nothing, but I'd be a little concerned about him being on the autism spectrum (clearly high functioning).
    There are some kids who do not respond to rewards and punishment. I have one! He could read at 3 yrs old, but he refused to potty train until he was 4 yrs 2 months. I only drove myself crazy getting rid of the diapers when he was 3, trying to insist he use the potty. (If I had it to do over again I would have stopped trying and left him in diapers longer)
    My son is fiercely independent, like you describe yours. I can totally relate!!!
    I say get another opinion and rule out any problems, but meanwhile, let him develop at his own pace. Back off the potty training for a while.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 6:33 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • hmmm...maybe try asking why questions and don't accept "don't know" as an answer... or when he says "juice" play dumb and say i don't know what you mean, use your words... that may provoke i want juice. But like i said before if he can do it and just chooses not to its probably a personality thing and not of grave concern. It sounds like he might be very advanced in some areas and more typical in others which make the typical things seem so far behind. My 3 year old is testing cognitively at a 5 year level however his social/emotional skills are right at the age of 3. So people always make comments because being so smart they expect him to act a certain way, but he doesn't because is social/emotional isn't advanced. It may be your son is advanced cognitively, so he gets bored easily and knows what frustrates you, but his language and emotional are just typical. Hang in there by 3.5 my son was a whole new kid.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 6:37 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • lol thanks...

    its not that he cant play with other kids, he gets bored with them, i watched him at the Y the other day,... trying to play with another boy that was probally 5... the other boy was frusterating my ds soo bad..so he went off and played how he wanted to by himself...
    2cuteboysrmine

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 6:41 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • lol that sounds exactly like my son. He's in preschool and his teacher says he gets so frustrated with the other kids so easily and just prefers to be alone... I don't think there's anything wrong with your son, he's just independent and smart and doesn't want to be bothered by others. Now if in kindergarten he's having serious social issues, I would look into it but at 3, I think your right he's just bored with the other kids and doesn't know how to politely say leave me alone
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 7:11 PM on May. 30, 2009

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