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I'm so hurt, and it seems like such a small thing too!

My husband just got a new job, things have been really busy for the past week or so and I have felt so emotional.... crying at everything! My husband asked me to go with him on a motorcycle ride but it was too long for me to be away from my baby so I didn't. So, he went and then hung out afterwards and I had told him for weeks that I wanted to go on a date. Well, I also got some prok chops (I HATE pork) and was going to make them for him tonight, he forgot and is going out with his parents and then said we could go somewhere when he gets home. Right now I just want to scream, or cry or something. I feel like left overs and honestly I don't want to be around him because I'm so hurt, but I really miss him at the same time!!! What would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on May. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • whatever your guilty pleasure is.. do it!! Try not to get to worked up over his stuff.. sometimes when we are emotional we look at everything theyy do as an attack or blatant disregard for us.. he's seems to want you along side with him but he's not in the same hormonal space right now. Treat yourself.. cut him some slack.. tomorrow is another day!!
    scout575

    Answer by scout575 at 8:41 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • It sounds as though you are overstressed. Could it be hormones? It is not beyond understanding that he was out on his bike and met up with some friends and enjoyed a break from work (that first week at a new job is awfully hard) and family responsibilities. And the pork chops, he did forget, but he said you could go out afterward. This is a good time for you to breathe and calm down and make the home a place that he prefers to be. Treat him as you would somebody on a date- be your sparkly, pleasant self. No nagging or fussing. Be pleasant, considerate of his feelings. It may not be easy if you are feeling under so much stress. It is part of being a wife. I hope that you are feeling much better soon.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:44 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • thank you!!! I jus got a text from him. He said he was so appreciative that I was going to make him pork,even though I hate it, and that he wasn't going to eat. He said that when he gets home we can ride his bike to get dinner while his parents watch the kids. Then he said that he said "I love you precious". He just melted my heart right now!!! He made me cry.... for a good reason! I'm still emotional, but I am not upset anymore! I was feeling really stressed, but more relaxed!
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 8:53 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I'm glad to read that you're more relaxed mama! I often have my moments/days but when SO steps back and lets me blow off steam or gives me a hug, i feel sooooo much better!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 9:09 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • left overs? he asked YOU FIRST. YOU TURNED HIM DOWN. Give him some time and get away from the baby for a while before you find yourself alone and crying about something worth crying about. You did this to yourself. Now dry your tears and get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I see what your saying ann. but the thing is he knows I cannot leave my son too long and he decided to go anyways... which I was fine with.... but seriously we barely saw eachother all week and he decided to stay and hang out with his friends longer... thats what I was mad about. I'm not mad anymore, but at the moment I was getting very irritated because the day is gone and he decided it was more important for him to go on the ride than spend time with me... atleast thats how I was feeling at the moment, not anymore.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 9:24 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Sorry, but he asked you and you said no. I know you love your child, but you also have to make time for your husband. Your child will eventually leave. What will happen if you have denied your husband alone time with you for years? Either he is going to find someone who will pay him some attention or the two of you will be complete strangers. Is that what you really want? You are getting mad at him for something that is your doing. Great way to push a guy away.
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 9:53 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • You both need time alone. I know a baby is exciting and everything, but you need a break for at least an hour! I've been there. make time for eachother. God bless
    mo2a27

    Answer by mo2a27 at 10:39 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Magpie75. I have been the one asking him to go on a date for weeks. I just can't be gone all day.... which was from 6 in the morning to 7 at night, way too long for a baby who is exclusively breastfed... doesn't take a bottle, and has seperation anxiety. It was just not possible and my husband knew this. Thats why when he found out how long it was he told me in a joking was knowing that I couldn't go... which was fine, but it was really hard to have him gone all day long. Luckily we went out for dinner when he got home... just the two of us.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 1:39 PM on May. 31, 2009

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