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What should I do when my 12 year old son who is a good soccer player wants to quit and hangout with his friends.

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tweetydmd

Asked by tweetydmd at 10:20 PM on May. 30, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • If its something he does not have is full heart into, then he will not succed at it. I would ask him if he likes to play and have him be truthful about it. Alot of times parents put so much pressure on their kids to do great at something that they are afraid to tell their parents that they are unhappy about it. If he tells you that he is not happy playing, then let him quit.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:21 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • Try putting him in a different sport, but, discourage him from just hangin' with friends! That's how they get into trouble!
    rose123

    Answer by rose123 at 3:27 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • I would give him the option of changing to another activity of his choice but "just hanging" might be the start of trouble.

    dreyamom

    Answer by dreyamom at 11:26 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Can't he do both? We had always told our kids they must do at least one extrcurricular activity (in primary school, it was two - generally musivc + sport). I'd impose a rule like that and as much as possible, encourage it to be soccer, but to ease his fustration, find an opportunity for him to be able to go out and see friends (like one afternoon a week). My kids will do anything to keep the privilege of hanging out with friends, so we use this as the ultimate punishment to keep them in line.

    But two other thoughts to add: First, I agree with other posters who say that no matter how good you think he is, if it isn't HIS passion, he won't exploit it and you can't force him too. Second, I don't agree that hanging out with friends causes problems. It can - but make sure you son knows his behaviour is his choice, never someone elses fault, but wanting to be with friends is just part of growing up .
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 7:46 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I agree with you PhillyinFrance. You do have to let him know that if he chose to "hangout with his friends" it is his choice to do that and nobody else. Does he like making videos or creating games online. That might be something and it can go with Music. I have a 14yrs and he has been interested in making videos with music and his friends,he has been doing this since age 11. I hope that helps.
    fabulousmom1

    Answer by fabulousmom1 at 3:43 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • you let him quit but tell him that he has to pick something else. maybe he's just not into sports but might like some sort of music lessons or acting or something :)
    WesAndNicksMom

    Answer by WesAndNicksMom at 12:33 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

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