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Should family be invited unconditionally?

Here's my situation.... When my husband and I found out we were pregnant with twins, his mom, dad and sister's family decided to just move 1600 miles away. Well that left us alone to fend for ourselves. Okay, so we are dealing with new twins, one was colicky, I was doing at home day care, and just at the end of my rope. They call and inform us that they were planning a trip to visit, and all seven would be on their way. I was overwhelmed, and explained that this was very bad timing, and that any other time they would be welcome. Well here we are a year later and that is still being brought up, and there is obviously hard feelings. Was I wrong? I feel they were wrong for even asking at such a stressful time. And I'll add they weren't here for us they wanted to see their friends. Do you think they should havebeen more understanding, or was I out of line? My husband was completely agreed with me, but I'm taking the heat.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on May. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Absolutely not! I think it's very rude of them to do that. I would have said it's nice you want to come but we aren't available and won't be able to see you, where are you staying? LOL

    Answer by finallyamom40 at 11:18 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • I have one question, you say that your in-laws were coming to see friends not you, so were they looking to stay at the Hotel Freebie, your door, instead of shelling out for the Holiday Inn? Is that why your said it wasn't a good time? I can understand it if that was the case and I think you were well within your rights to tell them it wasn't a good time. You have to do what is best for you and your family (hubby & kids) and if that doesn't include an invasion of the in-laws at that time then so be it. It they are still upset about it then, as my mom would say, they need to put on their big girl panties and grow up.


    Answer by chrissmom734 at 11:28 PM on May. 30, 2009

  • You make it sound like they moved because you got pregnant. Like they were abandoning you. Why didn't you all just move with them? But if it were me, family is always welcome, both mine and his unconditionally.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:22 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Your husband should explain to his family and make this stop. What horrible situation they put you in... I really feel for you and i thought is was bad that my in laws came over the day after my baby was born to drop of food and stayed to eat for like 6 hours. AGGGGGGhhhh! Well done on standing up for yourself and knowing your limitations, Their timing was totally wrong. Maybe just ask them to stop bringing it up or speak to you about it so the issue can be dealt with and forgotten

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 9:04 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • They sound like their in the wrong to just think they could come, stay, all uninvited. It is on them. I would have your husband talk to them. They could have stayed at a hotel or something, as a compromise. I'm one who does not like anyone just dropping by because we are so busy, it can make problems.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 10:12 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Thanks for taking the time to shed light, I appreciate the support, this has really made me feel bad. I don't want to be know as "that" in-law. I'm hurt that they weren't compassionate and understanding of my feeling and situation. I suppose time will heal all, and if not they are 1600 mile away...hehe:)

    Answer by doublefistin at 11:04 AM on May. 31, 2009

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