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i need help ladies

my husband has been gone since tuesday, this is the 2nd time he's done this. i dont know where he is. we have 2 children. i have no car and live in a small town where public transp. is limited. i love him, but i dont know if i should leave him. i dont know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on May. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Did he say why he did it the last time?
    Courtney508

    Answer by Courtney508 at 12:59 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Think that we don't really have that much imformation. But that is somthing you have to judge for yourself. Most woman put up with it till they feel they just ain't gona take it anymore.. You will have to weigh things out and see that for yourself. Hope everything works out for you .
    Shaqbe4u

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 1:00 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • OP here. he just said that he was hanging out with his friends out of state. this sucks, he messing everything up and he doesnt think anything is wrong. on tuesday he told me that he needs to try to make some money, then our call got cut off and i didnt hear from him since.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • He just left without letting you know where he was... then calls and says he's in another state hanging out with friends? How old is your husband.... he has two kids.... he sounds like the father of my children..... I just gave him the boot a few weeks ago.... I'd do an awful lot of soul searching to figure out if you wanted to continue with this... sounds sort of fishy to me... I'm so sorry this is happening to you. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to email me... I swear I just went through the same thing.
    kayla_trinity

    Answer by kayla_trinity at 1:11 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • you can't very well leave without a car! lol (probably why he does it huh, knowing you're stuck there)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • I would not do anything rash. Because of the kids I would try counseling. Just realize that his actions are saying that he does not care and loudly at that! Please know this is just what I would do so no pressure. Next I would get a job (if you don't already have one) get yourself a car and a back bone and next time I would pull out. You have to love yourself and respect yourself and don't accept any less than that from any man. I wish you all the luck sis' take care

    Sarahedger

    Answer by Sarahedger at 2:57 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • hello,I have been in a relationship sort of the same but children wasnt involved and we wasnt married anyways,you dont have to put up with it thats the bottom line! I reversed it on him,i went and did the same thing! he will get the hint and know how it feels to be abandoned,I dont know sweetie thats what i would do i would pack up!, even if its to a relatives or friends house and show him two can play that game and he will see!I hope things work out for you and I hope he comes to his senses
    savannahann24

    Answer by savannahann24 at 7:23 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • I'd not be okay with that. Why go somewhere else to make money? Does he not have a job? What job keeps you away for days? Sounds like he's in to something illegal to me.
    I'd be really done with him. I can handle a lot of things, but it's torment to wonder and worry about if they're even still okay and no way to contact them would drive me crazy. By day two I'd have already had everything one of us owned moved out of the house. He'd be making his choice when he didn't come home that night. Marriage doesn't work the way some of these people must think it does. If he'd have told you and you agreed it'd be completely different but first thing comes to my mind is he's either with another woman, getting intoxicated (by drug or drink), or he's doing something illegal and none of the three are okay with me and my marriage.
    I normally say work it out, but sheesh can't work it out if they're not there.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:50 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • OP here- girls, thanks and Sarahedger, I do need a back bone, i've been told that all my life. He's almost 40yrs old. we've been married for 17 years. we've always had a great and fun loving relationship. then he met these guys, younger guys and he spends all his time with them. i'm scared, i've always been with him, he always took care of us. I dont even know how to be without him. I know that I dont want my kids to suffer. one is a teenager and really upset the other is a baby, has no idea whats going on. i hope he's not cheating, i'm so afraid of that. ladies, thanks again for your words and encouragement.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Don't let him come back. pack his stuff and tell him to go. your kids don't need to see you being treated like this. I understand it will be hard but youur kids should ALWAYS come first! no matter what. He's obviously got something wrong with him if he just up and leaves with no reason or warning or anything.
    AshleyG.

    Answer by AshleyG. at 9:33 PM on May. 31, 2009

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