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Did I have a reason to get mad?

Last night I invited my SO over...we have been together for two years and it's been rough. He comes over when he wants, calls when wants and doesn't come around or call when he doesn't. He came over and we watched a movie, as soon as it got over and we were ready to go to bed, he told me that he wasn't staying...I was mad, upset and hurt so I cried and yelled and got angry with him...I wanted to end it and told him that he is selfish and that if he isn't going to be with me all the time, I might as well be single. I asked him why and he told me that he wanted to go home and finish what he was working on during the day...it was already 10:30 and unlike me, he has the weekends off. He was cold and told me, "I stayed the night before, isn't that good enough". He use to always stay, now he does what he wants when he wants no matter if it hurts my feelings, he did stay but it was to shut me up. He told me that people are not...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on May. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • cont... with eachother all the time when they are together and that I have no reason to be upset, that I am overreacting. He told me that my feeling weren't really hurt and that I was only crying to get my way. Am I wrong for getting upset and feeling unloved?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • No. You've been together for two years. He's right in that no couple spends all their time together, but he shouldn't just be calling and coming over whenever HE wants and ignoring what you want. Sounds like he doesn't really want anything serious.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:15 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • You are single, you are not married. This may be the time in your life to focus on you and your children. You don't need a man to be a whole person.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:16 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • not really he hurt your feelings and he sounded like he just has other things to do then spend time w/u. I would really figure out what you want and what he wants and if it's not the same then time to go and be single again. Good Luck with everything.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 10:16 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • It sounds like he wants you when it doesn't interfere with any of his plans. If this is how you want to live,then continue. Just think what your life will be like in 10 years instead of 2. I was with a guy like this for 5 years and just to say 'a zebra can't change it's stripes'...the same can be said of a person. If this is the way he is, then this is the way he'll stay...oh and one other thing. In the beginning, you get to see his 'representative'...the person he wants you to see and want, but after awhile, he shows you who he really is. The same is said for women.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:18 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Sounds to me like neither of you is getting what they want out of the relationship so you should find someone that cares about what you think and feel and doesn't think you're a manipulator.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:21 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • That saying "He is just not that into you"..Comes to mind..If he really wanted to be with you all the time,,or marriage. You wouldn't be able to keep him away..Treat him the way he treats you..Don't call him anymore,,for any reason..See how long it take him to call you and want to come over..Then tell him your busy..Then when you let him come over ,tell him to leave when your finnished with him. Start doing things on your own.You might want to start dating others..Sense you are  single/no ties to him..Truthfully he sounds married to me.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:31 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • I have to say I agree with louise2. He doesn't sound married to me, he just sounds like a jerk. But if you do the same stuff he's been doing to you you're going to find out real quick what he really feels about you. I would suggest trying it. And if he really cares then at least he'll get to see how it feels.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:36 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • do you have a right to be mad ? yes absolutely, but I have to say this is not a guy who wants a commitment. If I were you I would say see ya and find a man who 1. doesnt think you cry to get your way and 2. wants to be a partner for you,not just a "boyfriend". When a man loves a woman he will do anything, drop anything, say anything, just to be near you and this guy sounds like he is running the other way.
    move on.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:48 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • I hate to say it hun, but that sounds VERY familiar two my TWO exes before DF. That's a very clear "You are my partner of convenience, and only when it is convenient". It's not fair to you at all. You need to have a serious, CALM, discussion with him. If nothing changes.. Well, if it were me, I'd toss his selectively-interested ass out to the curb. Then again, i had to learn my lesson twice before it fully sunk in. :\
    _Jynxx_

    Answer by _Jynxx_ at 11:00 AM on May. 31, 2009

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