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Yes I can explain more....

I came into this relationship 2yrs ago,I am not legally a step-mom, but thats what his dad considers me.Anyway,she has given us problems since I came into the picture..She is Gay, which I could care less, but she has had at least 4-5 women in and out of his life since I got here.She is so disrespectful to teachers and principal at his school and calling the principal a c-word and we were all sitting there when she did it..he heard her do that,we don't tolerate that stuff in our home.He's gotten caught on porn sites at her house and at ours...He's getting really,really bad with the direspect thing, that I don't know what to do anymore. Can someone give me some advice please, I'm going crazy......

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harrietinnj1

Asked by harrietinnj1 at 10:36 AM on May. 31, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Yes I can. Document EVERYTHING and your hubby or SO needs to go back  to court to try and change where the child leaves and maybe supervised visitation from the mother. You personally should not say anything to mother. It can make things worse unless the child is in danger.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • So the mother is gay? and the child is he and he is disrespectful to all adults. How old is he? Not that really matters. But, maybe he needs to go to threphy?! It's really hard when children see there parents having people in there life one minute and then theres someone the next minute. This is nothing you or his father are doing wrong i really want to to understand that you are doing all the right things. This childs parents and you all need to sit down and she needs to understand that your going NO WHERE and you all need to come to agreement that you all gonna be on the same page with this child. You and the mother need to find a happy medium for this child well being. If this child sees you and his mother not getting along it's harder for everyone. You just have to bit you check and she needs to do the same. For all the issue with this child you all need to work together to get to the bottom of this. (cont)
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 10:50 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • (cont) If you and the father are the only two doing something to fix the issues and mom is not on the some path as you nothing is gonna work.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 10:54 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Your stepson is learning his disrespectful behavior from his mother. I would document everything that is done and said and go back to court for custody. Try talking to stepson when he is with you and show him how he should act. Depending on his age, you can sit down and have conversations with him about how people should be treated. Ask him how he would feel if it was him being disrespected or how he would feel if it was his mom or dad or you being disrespected. Also, if he is disrespecting others, tell him that people will learn to not trust him and he will lose friends and those that care about him the most. When he is disrespectful have him write dictionary pages or Bible pages also an apology letter to whomever he disrespected.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:08 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Kids will do as they see. When he is in your home let him know that you will all respect each other. Trying to talk to his BM won't do much good right now. She is in a bad place in her life. You can take her to court to get primary custody if that is what his Dad wants. But if this has been going on for 2 years the two of you may not be able to take the son on full time right now. Writ up the house rules and consequences and have him sign them. Then post them where they can be seen at all times. Stick to them. Kids learn quick, as soon as he sees that you firm and consistence with the rules it will be easier. Kids need boundary's and limits, it helps them feel secure and loved. It may take a few months but, after that it will be much easier. Let him know that no matter what you will be there for him and that you love him. By disrespecting you it will not make you leave. Good luck
    Gemaof4

    Answer by Gemaof4 at 11:27 PM on May. 31, 2009

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