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What do you think ???

Ok,,,I pay the bills in the family..My DH earns the money..So the bills get payed, in full every month ..But my DH is not good about leaving the savings alone. So we basically do not have and savings/fall back money.All our accounts are joint..

My question to you all is..Do you think it would be wrong of me to go and get a savings account in my name only,,And not tell my DH..Only so I can save for our future,,money my DH could not tough


Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on May. 31, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Chrissy it isn't his money. She has as much of a right to that money as he does. She works hard for it too. So that is unfair. I think that she should consider talking to him about having a separate savings account that is not touched first. However, she knows him best and while I would not encourage lying especially about money, if the best thing is to start the new account without him knowing then go for it. It is smart to save money. He will thank you once you can show him the benefits. At least he should be thankful.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 11:52 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Nope. If he won't leave the money alone you have to do something!

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:54 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Go and do it thats smart of you.

    Answer by raemommy at 10:57 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • You can't get his name off of there without him knowing it. You could however start your own savings account and not tell him, or not put his name on it. What I did was open one in my children's name because you can make more withdrawels a month if you need them without penalty, and if you end up losing everything they can not touch the children's money.
    He's not goign to like you doing that tho, and it's going to cause problems unless he agrees. I'd be upfront with him. Make a budget and allow each of you only so much spending money per week/month and when it's gone it's gone and anything in the savings account should be agreed on by both to dip in to and since he can't keep his hands out, that's why you're not putting his name on. Use a different bank, and rent a P.O. Box so he never sees the statements (never know when you're going to be sick or out of town).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:58 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • I think lisa_ann answered well. I would do that to, I have actually been thinking about doing that exact thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • You totally should. If he can't control his money habits then you should.

    Answer by HolliBerry21 at 11:18 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • I think getting a 2nd savings account in your name would be the way to go. You might want to go to a different bank/credit union- that way there won't be any accidental account mix-ups. I don't know if you would want to tell him about it or not. It might be wise to let him know upfront you are going to do this-- that way he won't get mad and be hurt if he accidentally finds out about it. Let him know that the savings account money is for him if he 'needs it' and your savings is 'for the future'. Maybe if he knows there will still be an account that he can get to he will be ok with it.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:40 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Yes it is wrong. If you had a job and felt the need to have a separate account for "your" money then sure. But taking "his" money and putting it in a separate account. One that he won't know about or have access to, is stealing. Let him deal with the bills so he can actually see where his money is going. Putting it in your children's name is a good idea. If the money is actually for them. Taking money out of that account for your own use? Now you would be stealing from your children. Sounds like a great idea to me.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:43 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • And having such is huge lie in your relationship is one sure way to destroy it.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:45 AM on May. 31, 2009

  • Nope I don't think that would be wrong of you at all. That is what I had to do. My husband is terrible about saving. A few months ago I got and excess pell grant funds check and my husband bugged me for a big screen tv repetedly and I said no. I had about one thousand in the savings and we ended up needing for and oral surgery of his. If he had had access to that money it probably wouldn't have been around to save us for the surgery. Sometimes that is what you have to do. I know now he is in Basic training and told me to leave any excess money in our checking account. But I am not going to. I am going to put it in OUR savings. Yes I think you should get a savings in your name alone. I personally think women are kind of better with money because we are so stuck on secuirity. Be open and honest and firm about the account. If he wants to use it tell him no, it's for a vacation to Hawaii. It's not like your off spendin that money

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 4:39 PM on May. 31, 2009