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How do I tell my husband I don't like the way he treated my son and get him to admit what he did was wrong?

He picked at him really hard in front of his siblings and caused him to blow up and leave the dinner table and go to his room. Then proclaimed that I should go back in there and kiss his butt to get him to come back out! I am not the one that upset him. What he doesn't realize is he's acting like a big brother, not a parent. Parents are suppose to protect thier children from this, not add to it! I am afraid my son will rezent him or that he'll be one to turn out with major anger issues because he's picked on all the time, even by his father. Any suggestions on how to express my feelings without causing a war?

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Northupmom

Asked by Northupmom at 3:32 PM on May. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Would help to give some input if i new what the fight was about. with no biased side from momma.....
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:34 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Is it his son? Because it sounds like he acting like a step-father (trying to pal around as opposed to being a parent)

    I would simply suggest that he go and talk to your son about what happened at dinner. Explain that he is young, and while hubby may think he is just playing around, he is actually hurting the boys feelings, and that you want them to have a close relationship, not one like this.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:45 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • I think my husband picks at my kids too much too. And he is their father. He says it's the way boys and men are, and there's nothing wrong with it, he's just getting them ready for adolescence and adulthood. But when it goes too far, I confront him and tell him exactly what he said that was inappropriate or over the line. I try to get him to see it from the kid's point of view.
    2boysmom703

    Answer by 2boysmom703 at 4:16 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • um... No he made the mess he needs to clean it up. You cannot tell your kids that dad was wrong and how could he want you to. I would talk to him about it in private after all of you calm down.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 7:31 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • sounds like my husband, he comes down really hard on our son, and sometimes i think he is down right mean about it, but he says i am too soft on our son, so i really cant give ya much advice other then he needs to fix what he created
    2barnettkids

    Answer by 2barnettkids at 1:22 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • My husband picks on my son, but its his step-son, hes always making fun of tha way i say his nam its Samuel but i say it tha spanish way....& he makes fun of him in front of his kids & my oldest is always humiliated, i hate it....were always arguing about it too, but all i can do iz try & make my husband understand that he cant do that to little kids.
    Mrsz_Castro

    Answer by Mrsz_Castro at 8:54 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • It is not his biological son, but he DID adopt him last year. So no, it is no longer his STEP son. He was teasing him about being girly because he did not feel like going to the shooting range with him. He does want to shoot and hunt, but he just didn't want to go this weekend. My hubby feels like if he's going to hunt, that he needs to go to the range whenever possible so he can practice. It somehow turned into a picking match. I agree with him needing to go to the range. I also think my hubby needs to let up and let him make choices sometimes. It's like he's always telling him exactly what to do. Then he wonders why he cannot make decisions. I don't agree with him picking so hard that turns out like this. I also do not agree how he reacted to me in front of the kids. He acts like everything is my fault. Hasn't bothered to talk or apologize.
    Northupmom

    Answer by Northupmom at 2:34 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • if my dh did that to his sd who happend to be my dd i would flip the freak out man...no way would i let anyone i dont give a damn who they were to pick on or humiliate my dd in anyway. i have stood up to her dad and other family members that thought they could do it and get aay with it...i dont care if it causes a fight i will protect my dd at all cost. i dont pick on my step kids so y should i allow my dh pick on dd? ive point blank to my dh if started to treat my dd like shit then im getting a divorce bc she and my animals are more important then any relationship
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 12:42 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • It still has been really rocky since this occured. My hubby will hardly talk to me as if I did something wrong. He will answer when I ask something, but there hasn't really been any conversation and we haven't discussed the issue at all. I feel like he should bring it up and talk it out since he was the one with the problem. I cannot do this for much longer. It is making me physically ill. On top of it, he is trying to get custody of his BS. He goes to the lawyer today. I have a lot of mixed feeling about that too. i just want to run and hide right now! I don't even have any desire to even be near him! Any suggestions on what to do?
    Northupmom

    Answer by Northupmom at 11:00 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

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