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He blames me for taking the kids

My ex hit me and as a result I took the kids..I take responsibility for my part! Now we are out of state and every time I call him he blames me for "taking his kids from him" yet he acts as if he is clueless as to why. He is desolved in so much self pity and selfishness that I can't even call about the kids because he keeps trying to make me feel like this is all my fault, b/c after all I took the kids. What would you have done? How should I go about getting past this??

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • You need to remember that you didn't take the kids out of spite but for their safety, if he can hit you once he will probably hit you again. You did the right thing by leaving.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 11:57 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I would have done the EXACT same thing. You need to keep reminding yourself why you left. He hit you, and who knows what could have happened if you had stayed. You did what was right and best for your kids. They are what is most important.

    Answer by Carrie06 at 12:07 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Just be sure that you report that he hit you. Otherwise when you take the kids, he can get your for kidnapping. I agree though...make sure they are safe! Go to court and get things straightened out. Make sure he gets anger management as well.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 12:12 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • you did the right thing. well he wont let you talk to him about the kids then dont bother....let him get a hold of you. you took the kids out of an unsafe enviroment so its up to him and his actions if you should let him back in there lives and it seems to me he isnt proving him sef worthy of having them back....

    Answer by mommieofone06 at 12:13 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • good girl you got out. He is the one with the problem and he needs to get over it.

    Answer by madcat500 at 12:27 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • He's acting like every other guy like him. When a guy choices to beat his wife he justifies it by making himself believe the "you deserve it" which we all know is a load of crap. I know you probably don't want to hear this but if you haven't already I'd file for divorce and seek to terminate his parental rights. Men with this defect won't stop at beating on the wife. If they don't have a wife to beat on to them the next best thing is their children. Trust me I know.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 12:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • When I was 3 I had to watch my dad beat my mom so bad that she was in the hospital for a month (mean while my grandma and grandpa were in the next room listening and not doing anything). The only thing that made him stop was a motorcycle accident so bad that the doctors told my mom it would be a miracle if he survived. But it didn't correct everything once I was old enough he would beat me. There was a couple of times that my butt had so many blisters on them that my mom had to keep he home from school for almost 2 weeks at a time. Her reason for not leaving him was that he never broke one of my bones or sexually assaulted me. And I had taken 10 minutes longer to get home from school then my brother who was on a bike so I deserved it.
    Sorry ran off on a tangent. Just keep in mind that everything you do from this point is to protect your children.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 12:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I think you should end contact with him. You took the kids away for their safety, not out of spite. It his on him that you took your kids away, and you should never feel guilty for doing so. He made it clear that he was a threat to you and your children, and you did the absolutely right thing by leaving. Honestly, I wouldn't even call him to tell him about the children. He made his choice by abusing you, and you made your choice by leaving. Allow yourself a pat on the back for doing the right thing.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:18 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Don't call, have the kids call. And if they don't want to because Daddy is talking mean about mommy, then take him to court!

    Answer by TXdanielly at 8:22 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

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