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How do I put my foot down?!

I'm at my wits end. I'm 9 months pregnant, going to have a c-section in a few weeks, and I can't take any more of FIL living here. He stresses both me and DH out! He won't take his medicine the way he should, he won't handle his business, he sits on our couch all day and won't look for a place to live. He was supposed to be out by now. I'm not going to be able to be comfortable in my own house breast feeding and recovering from surgery with him here butting in. I'm going to have to hole up in my room! DH complains about him just as much as I think about complaining, but when I mention that it'd be nice for him to stay with SIL for a while, he acts like I said I want to throw him out. I'm the one having to deal with this man, not him. How the heck do I put my foot down?!


Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on May. 31, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Maybe mention to your husband that after the baby is born it would be a lot easier and less stressful to recover and bond as a family if your FIL could at least go spend a few weeks with your SIL. Kind of leave the end of that open, like he is welcome back, and maybe your husband won't get so defensive about it. Once he's actually out, it would be much easier to keep him out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • I agree with the PP. if that doesn't work you can tell him that you've had it and you know that he has to by the way he talks. offer up to be the bad guy if necessary because you can blame it on the hormones.

    Answer by litlsuzzy at 9:17 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • You and husband make it clear to him now that he needs to find another place soon. Tell him he will not be allowed to continue to stay with you when the baby comes home from the hospital. Period!. Stick to it. Write a letter stating exactly the same thing. The only thing is If it isn't 30 days between now and the time you return home he could legally have you over a barrel. Even someone who does not pay rent legally has to be served 30 days notice of evacuating the premises. Do what you have to do. Refuse to be held hostage in your own home.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:20 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Give him a 30 day eviction notice issued by the courts so its all legal and when day 30 come call the police and have him removed from the property. I understand how it feels my BIL stayed with us while he was on christmas break and my DS was just 3 weeks old and that was so hard for me! Now he lives with us but DS is 6 months now so its easier but its so hard having some one in your home that you dont want there!! GL go by it legally and then he cant take you to court

    Answer by ArmyWife112908 at 9:49 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Why was he there to begin with? I think there is something left out of your problem.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 11:12 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • FIL is a repeat offender out on parole. He was in prison for 4 years for DWI. He had to have an address to parole out to. He insisted that he would have his own place as soon as his SSI check started up again. The problem is he procrastinated on that and everything else. He has no car because he can't legally get a license. He doesn't mind putting us out wanting to be taken all over town for nothing, but when SIL actually has come and got him, he'll one of the 10 things he needs to do, then says he didn't want to "keep her out all day." She has no children and doesn't work, so she has all the time in the world to help him. She just won't unless she's forced to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Stop treating him like a guest and treat him like a boarder. Set hours for him to be in common areas, give him a weekly list of chores, give him a lease for his room and board.

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:21 PM on Jun. 1, 2009