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Am I being selfish?

I know that my husband works all day, but when he gets home, I want to get a little hug and kiss time. I want to know that he loves me and that he missed me while he was at work. But, when he comes home all he wants to do is play on the laptop, or watch tv. I know that he doesnt get home till 10 at night, but I am alone all day long with just my six month old. So when he does get home I am so attention starved I just want to hug and hold him. But he says he needs "me" time. Atleast an hour. But We go to bed at 12am. So that means we get an hour toegther at most. Also when he does get home, I want him to watch DD sometimes so I can have some me time. On days that he comes home at 6, I give him his time, but he wont give me my me time. Is it selfish of me to want some time to myself, even though he doesnt get much himself?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on May. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • hell no, sitting home with a baby all day is more work than any manual labor job out there! not to mention its just you and the baby. you have a right to feel what you feel and i would confront his ass about it if i were you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Welcome to adult and parenthood Hon. Let the poor man rest, he has worked all day. You need to grow up and put your needs aside. You are not attention starved. You have a baby. It sounds a bit immature to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • to the second anon, i'm guessing you've never sat at home with a baby everyday for a long time have you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • two very different answers!! i say there's something wrong with him if he doesn't want to spend all the time he can with the baby when he gets home.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 9:53 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • It's not selfish, but you have to look at it from the overall picture too.
    Yea our jobs are stressful raising children and it's a 24/7 job but we do get breaks in between, more than they do at work depending on how old the child is (I saw yours is 6 months but it changes all the time with ages/days).
    What I had to do was to find friends so that I could get some adult conversations, to hear someone else's voice etc.
    With the hubby, he works all day and he's got a lot more on him than we do (in my opinion) because he's having to make sure that his boss doesn't fire him, get along with coworkers, and make sure that he does a good job, and make enough to pay all of the bills (hopefully on time). Some women will argue with me, but if he is only home 2 hours before it's time for bed, then he should want to spend some time with the little one, and you.. but don't let a man be your only source of conversation or you'll go crazy
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:55 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • the thing is I live out in the middle of nowhere. I live in dundee ny and the closest thing to me is the post office, and thats maybe a half hour walk. The closest thing is a walmart, and thats a half hour drive. I have given up alot for him. I moved all the way out to bumfucked egypt. We only have one car, and he uses it to get to work. My whole family lives four hours away and I get to see them for 2 days every 2 or three months. I dont have any friends outside of church, which i dont get to go to anymore because his schedule is so crappy with 9 am to 6 pm shifts. i dont think its immature to want to spend some time with mu husband!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • not selfish at all but a bit unrealistic sure. men well i shouldn't say it as if all men but most don't want anything but to relax. they don't see pass their own feelings and as long as your not leaving him and crap worse is going on then they get the secure feeling everything is ok until they are terribly wrong. i would talk with him more on an intimate level if possible. i'm so blessed. the first thing my husband does after work is want to kiss and hug me. he also will play with my daughter. she is not his.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:14 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • NOPE, if the two of you dont get that alone time everyday after being apart you will grow apart and not feel like your loved. No matter how tired you both are even the simplist of things will help you bond.
    beastandkids

    Answer by beastandkids at 10:14 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • It's not immature at all to want, and need to spend time with him.
    I hope you understand what I was saying. With you being so far away from everything with no vehicle it certainly complicates things. One of those people from church could maybe come over for coffee, lunch once in a while tho and that would atleast give you another adult to talk to.
    It'd be nice if he spent the whole time he's home with the two of you but chances are it's not going to happen unless he does some serious changing I'm sorry to say. I installed a chat program on my hubby's puter and once in a while I'll just IM him and say something like "hey, did you notice that hot woman sitting across the room from you?, I think she misses you, or would love to ravish your body... you up for it?". It usually gets his attention.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:16 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Sounds like you both are selfish and have no clue what a relationship really is. You both should consider each others needs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on May. 31, 2009

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