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A few days ago I was at a family function & I heard my sister-in-laws talking behind my back

I pretended I did not hear what they said and was pleasent to everyone because I have a baby to take care of. This has happened twice now- where I over heard themtalking about me. They say I should not be a stay at home Mom- why dont I work? They make out like their poor brother has to slave away, while Im at home sitting on my butt( which is not the case) my baby will be one soon, and I have a 12 yr old with ADHD. My hubby makes 65,000 a year- we re not poor, but we do budget everything. Should I say something at next family get together- or let it go?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on May. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • i'd ask hubby to talk to them, its his family so its better to let him deal with it. its ya'lls decision not theirs. and he makes a very decent amount of money so it doesn't seem like ya'll would be struggling b/c you don't work.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:56 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • They sound envious. Ignore it and do what you feel is best. You never know, if you did work, they may rag on you for working and not being a SAHM. Kill them with kindness.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 10:57 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Tell them to piss off. Jeez i hate people who think that SAHM do NOTHING, i honestly somedays WISH i had a job because even on my busiest day at my old job, its NOTHING compared to the stress kids bring

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 10:57 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Your DH needs to say something to his family. They are treating you like crap if they are talking about you where you can hear them. He needs to tell them to back the hell off, that the both of you agree on how to raise your kids and that it is none of their business.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 10:57 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • What? People are not allowed to discuss concerns about you with other people now? It's bad enough that you eavesdropped and are now bothered by what was discussed. For all that you know, because you didn't interrupt them, they could be a bit jealous that they can not enjoy staying at home as you do, or they feel that a woman should work and do it a mom and have a career, or some other unsaid reason. So they don't agree. It's not the end of the world. If it bothered them that bad, they would confront you about it. But if it's going to bother you greatly.......perhaps getting it out there and admitting that you eavesdropped on their conversation......and asking for clarification would go a long way in soothing hurt feelings and incrimination's on both sides.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:03 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • What a freaking bitch!! My sister in law does the exact same thing. My son recently had surgery and she was calling me a bad mother/wife because I didn't work. What the hell?? She just finds ANY excuse to talk about me.. so now, I just ignore her. Don't listen to them, all that matters is your children and your husband. If you all are happy with the way things are- then this family can all go to hell!

    Answer by SinCitiChick at 11:03 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Don't say a word. They are hardly worth getting upset over. If they can't say whatever it is to your face then it isn't important. You and your husband are happy, your child is well cared for; so what if they don't like your lifestyle. It is your lifestyle not theirs. That is their opinion and it only has worth if you value it. Smile and enjoy life.

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 11:20 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • Well if this were me I think I wouldn't want to start a family feud over it , however, I'mNOT at all the type to just stand by while people are talking behind my back and not defend myself. The best way in my opinion to approch the subject is to as your husband to talk to them, have him tell them that it helps him out that you're at home too because he doesn't have to worry about doing "home" things, you take care of that stuff. To be honest it isn't really any of thier business. How does it affect them that you stay at home?.... I'm sure it doesn't. If they have nothing better to do then worry about you not working then that's a problem they ought to talk about when you're not around.

    Answer by AshleyG. at 11:27 PM on May. 31, 2009

  • My two sil's do this to me all the time. I was in the room we stay in at his parents when I overheard them. They were in the basement and you can hear everything down there through the vents. They said I was lazy and a horrible wife to their brother. I should work and help out. My husband is a surgeon I don't need to work he makes plenty of money. I gave birth to our triplets 8 weeks ago. We have 5 other children ages 8, 7, 4, 3 and 1. I do plenty but they will never get it. They are bitter I have a great provider for a husband and they married dead beats. I live well and ignore the sea hags. My husband knows what they say and tells them that is why they don't see us and the kids are not around them. His parents did overhear them and told them they are not going to be welcome anymore if they continue. Some people are just jealous. Living well is the best revenge when dealing with haters.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Me, just being who I am, I would have walked over && said something right then. I wouldn't have been a bitch about unless they started getting catty. If they don't agree with something you're doing, even though it's none of their business, then they should have the balls to say it to your face. I'm sure they are just jealous. If I were you, I would wait until you heard them talking about you again, && go over && politely ask if there is anything that they would like to say to you.

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 12:52 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

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