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What are your thoughts on this? (Child Support Question)

I understand a man has to help support his kids but when the wife asks or demand her check why does it feel like it is not going on the kids...even though some of it is.

But what I don't get is she'll call and ask for the check and tells him why bc she had to do extra expendatures for the kids, but yet we always hear from the kids that they are always throwing parties (celebrating birthdays or whatever).

How is this suppose to make us feel :( when you yourself is struggling to make ends meet. Sometimes I just tell my self how much we have left on paying her counting down the years, that is all we can do. I wish her well anyway.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I know what you mean, my SO's ex is like that. She will call && tell him that his son needs shoes or his daughter needs diapers && she don't have the money. but then the kids tell us, oh mom just went and got 2 new tattos or we went to Chuck E. Cheese or we went && stayed the night in a hotel, etc. It really pisses me off too && I'm counting down the years as well...lol.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 12:15 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • It's too bad if the mother isn't spending her money wisely, but think of it this way (if you can) her money is going to throwing a birthday party and your husband's money is going towards feeding the child that he brought into the world. I would imagine it is frustrating, but that's how I would try to look at it.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 12:15 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • My child support goes into my checking account, so all the money I get is mixed together and it is spent on what is needed, included birthday parties for my son. I don't keep the child support money separate from my paycheck. I pay my bills out of the money in my checking account and the little bit I get in child support helps very little. Your husband needs to have child support taken from his paycheck and sent to the ex by the courts and NOT give her any extra money other than what was ordered. If the kids need clothes, shoes or money for school or sports actvities, then he writes the check directly and pays it himself. I ask my ex for NOTHING extra because he is a loser and only pays his support because it is court ordered and if he doesn't I will happily turn him in. He doesn't see my son and hasn't in 13 years. My ex actually asked me to stop the child support because he didn't want to pay it.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:32 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • In Ohio, any money that goes for support and does not go through the child support enforcement agency is considered a gift by the law. It needs to go through court. I feel your pain, I live both sides of this coin. My ex is a dead beat dad and my current DH has paid for everything for the 3 children from my previous marriage, has for years and years. I don't get support for them at all. My DH also pays support for his 13 yr old DD. She lives with her mother and her husband in a 300,00 dollar house with a built in pool and her own room and bathroom. She has everything she needs and more. Yet we struggle to make ends meet while he supports his, mine and ours. He pays 50 bucks a week for his DD. He does not have a problem with taking care of his DD at all, it is just hard to see his ex living the way she does and giving money towards that. They party too. Just not fair sometimes.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:31 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I would add my kids father has not seen them in 10 yrs. They could be dead and burried for all he cares. This after a 14 yr marriage. I would also add that no matter what I felt for my ex, if I was living like a princess with no care in the world and I knew him to be struggling, I would tell him to keep his lousy 50 bucks a week and spend it on our children when they were with him. Some people have no morrals.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:33 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • After a very long time and counting. 9 mos..woot! I do understand your concern. But, you simply can not look at the support that way....you can't worry/stress/wonder how it's being spent. It will literally drive you nuts. I'm a crazy example. lol Believe me...the bitterness from knowing that our hard earned $ is going anywhere but the children has got me over the years. Don't let it get to you.


    I agree with the posters who said you MUST go thru CSE! It is true...anything you give to her/him after CSE is and will be considered a gift. You must do those "extra" things from the heart....even if you do not think or see it going where the X said they needed it. I know we gave for the kids...we can not help where it goes after it has left our hands or checks.

    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 3:59 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • do you go through court for child support? if u do then she would only get a certain amount from month to month and if she came to u asking for more say nope u already got ur money budget it. if u dont go through court then i would suggest u do. my dh ex tried did the same thing intill i made him go through drd and put things on paper.
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 10:46 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

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