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Does anyone from 18 to 20 have a new baby and b/f problems?

My boyfriend is scared he is going to mess something up.He doesnt think he will wake up w her at night so he dont even wanna try.Im doing it all pretty much by myself and when he does something after 10 min he gets overwhelmed. he dont understand why she crys when he holds her and ive explained but he dont get it.how else can i make him understand?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (5)
  • i think alot of guys have a hard time understanding newborn babies. they figure they have nothing to cry about as long as they are fed and dry. (at least most of the guys i know) with my husband it just took explaining over and over again. and i would also tend to leave a magazine or book open to an article about whatever point i was trying to get across, in the bathroom. he'd come out and be like hey i just read this, and it was like it was something he'd never heard before and since he read it "on his own" he took it better than me saying what he thought was an opinion. just tell him to relax when he is dealing with baby if hes stressed baby will sense it and get stressed too. and if he really is overwhelmed tell him you'll step in for him, but that you get overwhelmed sometimes too so you need him to be the calm one sometimes so you can relax for a minute.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:26 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Guys arent born with that parental instinct like women...They have a provider instinct.
    but you might want to try a parenting class. I know Kaiser and other hospitals host them for cheap prices. It may help him get more comfortable. Also when your baby reaches about 4-6 months gymboree may be an easier way for dads to interact with baby and also be in charge .
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 2:06 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • That happens with dads of all ages! What worked with my then-40-year-old husband? I tossed him in the pool. I handed our son to him and went out for three hours. When I came back, the house was a bit of a wreck and DH looked like he was shell-shocked...but our son was fine.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:17 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I had my son when I was 21 and my boyfriend was 25. He didn't the hang of things right off. He got frustrated when out son would cry and with in five minutes he was screaming for my help. My boyfriend never got up in the middle to tend to our son. I wouldn't force your daughter onto you boyfriend but offer to help him out more. Offer to show him how to give her a bath and give him some tips. When your daughter is around six months he will start to come around. I've noticed once babied become a little more Mobile the dad's will start to interact with the babies more. Try to hang in there/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • It sounds like the two of you didn't discuss division of responsibilites before deciding to have a child, to take a newborn care class together. You would both benefit from a parenting class; some men are more likely to believe a stranger than their SO (like my husband...)
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:26 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

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