Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do?

Ok so my boyfriend works for this company which is strictly commission based. But now and than he gets perks from his job.... Like contests for extra money or prizes... So he had this contest going on and won a 2 night 3 day vacation - The contest pays for the hotel ( which are like resort hotels )..... so we are thinking about going to the bahama's in the winter. My only problem is that he doesnt wanna bring our daughter with ( who around that time will be 5-7 months old, depending on what month we plan it in) - But he doesnt wanna take her, he wants to have his mom watch her all weekend, which im TOTALLY weird about. Not anything towards her ( kinda ) , but the simple fact of being away from her for that long, that far away ya kno. And i feel its irresponcible (sp?) to go away on vacation and NOT bring her... i wanna go as a family and now he is talking about planning the trip with someone else because i wanna bring the baby

Answer Question

Asked by kwiseman19 at 5:39 AM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • What are your thoughts or experience with this? Am i going over board with feeling its not the right thing to do to just leave her at his moms house.... Like its totally not responsible??

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 5:41 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • also, he wants to book a couple more nights in the hotel... the contest only pays for a 3day and 2 night stay... so he wants to book a couple more days and pay out of pocket for the extra days....

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 5:43 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • You are right and wrong. It's not irresponsible to leave her home as long as you know she is being taken care of properly. I DO understand WHY you don't want to leave her home, though. I would spend some more time thinking about it, if I were you. While I never wanted to leave my kids, even just for one overnight, I did find that by the time my oldest was 6 months and my mother insisted on taking him overnight for a night for my ex and I's anniversary, the break was nice: no diapers, no midnight feedings, I could eat a meal without tending to a crying baby. It was a nice break and when I got him back, I appreciated him so much more. If you are adamant that you don't want to leave her home, then you may have to accept that he won't go with you, if he's also adamant. In that case, I'd be wondering what that says about the relationship. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:09 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • As long as you can call and check on her, I'd go. She'll be in safe hands and this might be your only chance for a break/vacation... especially if you have more kids. I have three and couldn't imagine taking them on a vacation...

    The break will be nice, just let yourself relax. :)

    Answer by Gremlyn at 6:13 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I have heaps of friends who are comfortable with this BUT I am against it. I have told my husband from the start that we will all be going together on ANY HOLIDAYS. That's what a family is about right!

    My MIL keeps asking when she will be able to take her by herself and I have said she won't... We will all be together. I'm not sure what the need is for the baby to be away from the parents. How horribly confronting and confusing for a baby. They don't even understand whats going on they just think that Mummy and Daddy have left and probably don't even know when they will come back.

    That being said, if you need a break, as many do then take it and go on the holiday. If you trust his mum 100% and know that she will be looked after perfectly then you could be comfortable with this holiday. If not then don't do anything you will regret!

    I have decided not to go on hols without our baby. She is us and I wanna be with her

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 6:16 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I would tell him he is very selfish and to go alone. When you become a family you do things as a family. I couldn't imagine dumping my kids off on someone to get a break from them. They're my children and I'm not that selfish. You will have pleanty of time to go on vacations alone when she is grown.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:59 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • If ur hubby goes with someone else he is an insensitive jerk- u just had a baby who is a member of ur family now_ WHY DOESNT HE WANT TO TAKE HER? iS IT BECAUSE HE WANTS ALL UR ATTENTION, OR TO GO CLUBING? Some hotels have babysitting - did u call and ask? He has to get used to the family vacation idea-ur a family now. If u want some alone time with him , then let Mom babysit the weekend- its ur choice- but we would have a MAJOR fight if he went himself. Tell him how u feel for future reference.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • My DD is a year and we have never left her not with family a sitter no one. So i know where your coming from when im ready we will go have a night to our selves but the time is'nt right, right now.
    What i would be wondering about is why is he in a hurry to use the trip up? Why can't you both wait till the baby is a little older? Maybe talk to him about that thought.

    Answer by raemommy at 7:57 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I think he just want a romantic weekend with his wife. He probably took it a little personal that you didn't want too and hats why he said he would take someone else. I understand that you want to take your daughter and don't want to leave her behind. I love my kids to death but I would give my right arm to have a weekend in the Bahama's with just my man. It would be like a second honeymoon.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I have four children and I can count on one hand the times my hubby and I have spent the night away from them. ANd that's including an emergency that couldn't be helped. My hubby thinks we can put our marriage on hold because the boys will be little one time. But I am telling you right now you need to pamper your marriage as well as your child. We haven't and now we may have a broken home. Just bite the bullet and go girl!!

    Answer by ellies3boys at 9:19 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.