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should i be upset or let it go?

Okay, so I'll try to make this short.

Basically, I'm white, and my boyfriend of 3 years is Hispanic.
I've always had a problem with feeling like he'd rather be with a latina and he knows this.

Yesterday I found porn on his comp. OPEN and it was latinas, checked his history, ALL latinas.

I confronted him and told him that I wasn't upset that he was looking at porn but upset that he was looking at girls that are EVERYTHING I'M not and could NEVER be.

He doesn't get it.

I'm hurt. Should I be? Or should I just drop it?


Asked by javila at 6:29 AM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Yes i do agree with mistynights234. If he did'nt love you he would'nt be there and you would not have the children you have. I would just let it go and if it comes up again then there may be a problem. Don't wait for something to go wrong be happy with what you have.

    Answer by raemommy at 7:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Insecurities always hurt. The question is do you let him settle or leave him so he can go after what he really wants?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I think that if your guy didnt want to be with you, he wouldnt be.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 7:31 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Ask him if he is happy with you and if he thinks he can spend the rest of his life with you? (If that's what you want.) If you are comfortable in the relationship, that is what counts. What's the bottom line here? If you have no children together, consider leaving the relationship you don't feel is secure. It's up to you to feel comfortable and you need to ask him those questions that haunt you. The truth will help you decide what to do.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 8:14 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • hmm, porn is ponr...the porn i look at i would never actually want to do in real life lol.

    if he didnt like you, he wouldnt be with you.
    YOU are the one who is seeing color and race right now...and you need to stop because obviously when he looks at you he see's his girl, not a white girl.

    Answer by moki1984 at 9:54 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I'm a brunette and I think if my husband looked at porn, he'd probably look at blondes because it is what he doesn't have. It wouldn't be that he wants that, really, just that it is different and seems more exciting that way. What does he say when you tell him this really hurts you? That says a lot about how important your feeling are to him.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 11:12 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I feel you being upset is normal because you are who you are.
    I also feel that he is looking at Latinos because that is what he likes to look at.
    If something bothers you I do not believe letting go is the correct answer because that "letting go" can and will build walls of resentment.
    As for him understanding why this hurts you, well we all know men just do not get alot that us women feel but that does not change the fact that he should
    respect your feeling.

    Answer by Dannee at 11:34 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Um.. why we're you looking through his history on his computer? Ok so he was looking at latina's! it could be a fantasy he will always have but either you need to discuss it a little futher but you should decide if you trust your bf or you think he's cheating then you need to address that, but it's not good going through his computer, especially since it's just porn. It would be different if he had dating sites. etc. good luck to you!

    Answer by Sillylins at 5:15 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • i was looking because he knew I was going to get on the computer and as soon as i opened the browser porn came was right on there. I didn't have to snoop to find it. it slapped me in the face. i had the right to check his history after that. but that's just my opinion.

    Answer by javila at 7:58 PM on Jun. 1, 2009