Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do???

If you were raped and got pregant, would you keep the baby or give him/or her up for adoption? Some people just dont understand I know that the baby is still apart of me but i cant do it. It hurts me to say this but the baby will just be a constant reminder of what happen. I want the baby to have a loving mother and im scared i would treat it different. I want her to grow up with a family were she knows she is loved. what would you do? Im I a horrible person or can you understand. thank you in advance.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • i dnt no what id do to be honest but i can understand were u cumin from hun if u want to talk am ere for u

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • i can understand where you are coming from. i have never been raped and cant imagine what you are going through with that alone. but to add a baby that was concieved from something horrible-if you feel that it would be best to give her up then thats what you should do.
    on the flip side of that, i knew a girl that got raped and had a baby from it. she loves her little girl the same way she would had that child been concieved in love. but the choice is yours to make. you have to do whats right for you and the baby. good luck.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 9:50 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • as long as you don't kill him/her then you are not a horrible person. If you feel that he/she would be better off, then by all means, DO give him/her up for adoption. There are plenty of women who can't have children of their own that would love that child unconditionally.

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 11:28 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I'm not sure what I would do. Part of me would want to keep him or her because it still MY BABY even if some SOB didn't have enough respect to respect my right not to have sex with him.

    But my DH and I have talked about this several times and he said that he honestly doesn't know if he could raise a child who belonged to the man who raped his wife. He understand it's not the child's fault but he also said without meaning to he might accidently treat him different and children don't deserve that.

    Neither of us believe in abortion or the morning after pill so we know that wouldn't be an option for us but I honestly don't know what I would do.

    Could I live with myself if I gave the baby up? Could I be a good mother to him if I kept him?

    I just don't know and I hope I'm never faced with that choice.

    I would suggest some counsling at a rape crisis center. They can help you sort through this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I have seen both sides of the picture as far as adoption goes. If you are afraid that you couldn't provide the best care for your child and have strong feelings of putting her up for adoption, don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong for doing it. It is not your fault or the babies fault for what happened. I had a friend that was raped and became pregnant. Her family pushed for her to abort but she didn't. She carried the child full term, cared for herself, and had prenatal care. She searched through out the pregnancy with the help of an adoption agency for the perfect family for her child. After delivery, it was very difficult for her but once she saw the adoptive parents with the child, she knew the baby was really theirs. My lil bro is adopted. My stepdad couldn't conceive. They adopted him at 1 day old and he is our families dream come true. Ultimately if you're a religious person, pray and He'll show you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.