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My little boy is hard to keep under control in public. It's like he forgets all rules and doesn't obey. Is there any end to this madness? It's like I can't take him anywhere! He's 3 1/2 and has a mind of his own!

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Asked by danders83 at 12:12 PM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (11)
  • They will constantly be testing their boundries. Just be consistent and don't cave in. What you say goes and be firm about that. We've gotten to the point with our older kids that when we go someplace and park the car, we have a talk about rules & expectations before we get out. That way it's fresh in their minds and there are no surprises. Hope that helps!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 12:14 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • that is what belts are for... when he knows you are not plaing he will stop.

    Answer by madcat500 at 12:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • WHAT?! ^^^^

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 12:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I would say if he only behaves this way while you are in public and not at home (except for the norm) then he is so testing you big time. Try taking him to a place he really likes - and if he doesn't act right or is defiant and you can't control him by speaking to him then give him a warning that if he doesn't stop and continues to test you, you are taking him and going home, and make sure that you do just that if he doesn't mind you, I bet you will only have to do this consitantly for a handful of times and he will catch on quickly... might be worth a try anyway.. one never knows..

    Answer by BreakingFree at 12:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • oh I forgot to add here.. be sure to reward him with a little something if when you have to warn him and he does straighten up and you don't have to take him home.. he will be more apt to like getting rewarded for good behavior then being taken away from some place here really enjoys being...

    Answer by BreakingFree at 12:21 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I Love the first response! Reminding him at the venue, so that the guidelines are fresh in his mind, should do the trick. You should be prepared to leave the event, though (even if it is only to remove him from the room/restaurant/party momentarily untilhe can get his behavior under control) if he acts up. He needs to know that the boundary is clear and consistent. I would be very wary of rewarding expected behavior, though - especially if you had to give him a warning before he complied. That's a bad habit to get into because you will be encouraging him to behave FOR the "prize", and he should be learning to behave because it is the right thing to do. The reward for good behavior should be the sense of pride in himself for developing self-control, and the pleasure of you for enjoying the experience of being out with him.

    Answer by DivaMomCC at 12:46 PM on Jun. 21, 2008


    Answer by godsaves at 12:49 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I will put him in Time out no matter where we are. I will leave the store if I have to. He knows that when he is sitting out he is in trouble. There is no ONE spot that he has to sit. I have done it by the meat section doors at Walmart. Just be consistent. Tell him the rules before you go in and if you have to leave a cart full of groceries so be it.

    Answer by ConnorsMommy521 at 9:31 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • My son was the exact same way and I couldn't figure out why for a long time. He has now been diagnosed with aspergers and adhd (not that yours has that) so I understand more why I had more difficulties than my other friends. I actually hired a babysitter when I could. As he's gotten older (5 1/2 now) it has gotten better. I do go over rules before I open the doors to get out of the car and that has helped. Also, I have brought something in the cart that will occupy him. Maybe a sheet of stickers & a notebook to put them in, his magnadoodle or something that will keep his mind and hands occupied.

    Answer by bookrdr at 11:31 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • My son was like that because he found going most places stressful. He would get overstimulated by all the people, lights, sounds, etc. and would wind up and up and up until *kaboom* he would explode. Taking him to a mall was like giving him a couple of Mountain Dews and a handful of lollipops! lol We avoided really stimulating places as much as possible and found that talking about EVERYTHING that he was going to see, smell, hear, etc. before we went in and discussing how he could behave when he saw, smelled and heard those things really helped. Talking about it again AFTER we got out helped him calm down more quickly. He figured out as he got older that having something to distract himself and block out some of the stimulation (like a CD player and headphones or gameboy) really helped as well.

    Answer by jessradtke at 11:56 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

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