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Woud this upset you?

Lately my DH has had a higher sex drive than normal. He is constantly talking about and wanting sex. I have no desire to have sex since the birth control I take stole my sex drive. He wont use a condom because he said those are for single people plus its not his responsibilty to worry about birth control. He refuses to get a Vasectomy so I have to schedule an appointment to discuss getting my tubes tied. Which I feel is unfair because I have had 3 surgerys in the last 2 years. Not to mention I may have to get another one done in July. He also let me know he wants to watch porn since I wont have sex. I just feel like screaming because its his fault my sex drive is gone. Would anyone else be upset about this? I feel he is so insensitive to how I feel and is more concerned with himself. Thanks to anyone who actually read this long post :)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • he sounds like my husband, mine always wants sex, i have a very low sex drive and always have. but since it is your husbands fault that you are on birth control then he needs to be making some compromises here.
    im sorry you are going through this
    2barnettkids

    Answer by 2barnettkids at 1:27 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Sounds like he is insentative, i would put my foot down and tell him to get a V. I had to do that with my DH. He trying pulling that shit w/ me when i had my 1 yr old, ohhh just have them tie your tubes while he's down there... no way.... I told him i gave him 3 children and he needs to put one in for the team. I dropped his butt off and he was in and out in 1 hour... did it on a Friday, had all weekend to recover and by monday he was fine. Don't give in to him.. be strong. He'll do it if he wants sex again.. hahaha just tell him that..
    scrapn2do

    Answer by scrapn2do at 1:33 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Get a diaphram
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:35 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Ok,well he could be a little more sensitive about the surgery stuff. BUT, let's turn this story around a little bit. Let's make it YOU that wants "it" ALL THE TIME! So you make advances toward your husband and he keeps turning you down. Says he just doesn't want to, doesn't feel like it. And you hear this over and over and over again! Would you not start thinking that something is wrong between the two of your?? Would you not start feeling neglected and hurt?? Would you not begin to think he is just not attracted to you anymore?? I bet you would!

    momneedscoffee

    Answer by momneedscoffee at 1:40 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Continued from above...

    I would say to defiantly give it, at least from time to time. Even though you two are married, he is still going out on a limb "chasing" you. And if you turn him down, it is a HUGE hit to his ego. And men, when they get rejected {especially by the woman who he is married to} the get defensive, they are in a bad mood, and they are not as willing to do what their wives want if their wives are not willing to give them what they want to begin with.

    I wouldn't be surprised that if you were more willing, he would soften up about the surgery. Maybe the two of you will be able to come to some sort of compromise....but you will have to give to get! You can not assume to get your way without letting him has his also....it's only fair.
    momneedscoffee

    Answer by momneedscoffee at 1:43 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • OP HERE_____I do give into him atleast twice a week. I know I cant just expect him to do everything either but it feels like he doesnt care about my health as much as he cares about having sex. That is more of the frustrating part.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • To OP....when you do "give in"...how does that actually play out??? Now, I don't want details here....but is it after he has had to beg you for it?? Are you excited at all to have sex with him, or is it a "ok, let's just get this over with quick!" type of attitude?? Do you initiate it at all??
    momneedscoffee

    Answer by momneedscoffee at 1:49 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I would see a sex therapist. There's got to be a deeper reason then just not wanting it because of birth control!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 3:53 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

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