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My DH's sister...

My DH's sister is 8, we are much older. My DS is a year behind her in age. My DS has Autism & ADHD, and it seems that every time we go to a family function she feels the need to put my DS down. We were at a cookout this past weekend, my DS gets a little anxious and animated in large crowds, she blurted out "Has he had his medicine?" (which makes me think my FIL & her mom have been talking about him) And during the day she kept telling the other kids that he can't "talk right" and other mean things. My DS is unaware (or seems to be) of her insults, but I"m getting tired of them! Should I bring this up to my FIL, have DH handle it or just ignore it as typical, rude 8 year old behavior?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I would mention it to your dh and ask him what his take is on the situation. If he isn't helpful, I personally would have a chat with ds. I would take her out to the movies or lunch or have her over for dinner and a board game. When there is time for you to speak to her alone, mention how the things she says in front of others is private (the medication) and hurtful (he can't talk right). Ask her to help your son in social situations by letting you know if there is a problem and by respecting his privacy by not sharing his disabilities. Ask her if she has noticed any of his positive qualities and make sure you have a list if she doesn't name any. Thank her in advance for her patience and help and let her know you feel your son is lucky to have an "aunt" like her in the family. You'll get lots more with honey so I would try that first!

    Answer by happi-ladi at 3:05 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I would talk to your husband and have him go to the FIL. i have an 8 yr old and his brother(my oldest son) has cerebral palsy and he never says anything mean about him.

    Answer by jbcmom at 2:07 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • If you do anything about it, your hubby needs to handle it. But maybe you can buy her a book about kids who are different? There are several really good ones and maybe they can help her see how to handle being uncomfortable about his differences? Maybe she is not trying to be mean, but just does not know how to handle her feelings about this.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 2:29 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I would NOT ignore HER BEHAVIOR...Your DH's sister needs to RESPECT your child.

    Tell your DH to nip this in the butt...ASAP ASAP...........

    My DD is has PDD (I mild form of autism) and I will tell you this...
    I do not care who where or when NOONE would TREAT MY DAUGHTER THAT way EVER...

    If your DH does not act on this....He is worthless!!!

    Answer by Dannee at 2:50 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • BTW, you may have to remind her and if she is intentionally mean, let the FIL and your husband know you are considering cutting time together off unless it changes. YOu must advocate for your child.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 3:06 PM on Jun. 1, 2009