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would you stay with someone if they didnt like the way you looked? (ex. got a pierceing or a tattoo)

So my husband told me last night in a heated arugement that if i got another tattoo or another piercing that i could leave because he was not going to be married to anyone that was trashy. he believes that people with tattoo are associated with drugs and gangs and that i look like i have branded myself. our marrige isnt the best but i love my husband even though he has a small box in which he thinks inside of. my husband asked me if i would have still choosen the tattoo if i knew it was going to cause trouble in our marriage and i still would have gotten it. i have thought about this for a long time and it is a small one with three letters (one for each of my sons) it is hid by my shirt and not out in the open....what do you think about this????

 
Momof3Squirts

Asked by Momof3Squirts at 2:35 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Man your hubs would think I am like total white trash then lol, I think his opinion yes should matter SOME, but the fact remains that its your body and your choice, personally I think your dh needs to not be so narrow minded, I could see someone thinking this way maybe 20 years ago but not today in this society, things have changed and not everyone with a tattoo is a drug dealer or gang member, I for one am not.
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 3:33 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I think that if it's causing that much trouble and you already don't have a great marriage then I would pick and choose my battles...that's really kind of petty to get upset over but if he feels that strongly about it maybe you should reconsider....I personally don't like tattoos for me, but I have no problem with them and don't associate them with drugs or gangs...that is a little close-minded but maybe since you are saying your marriage isn't great as it is, why add more fuel to the fire?
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 2:39 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • i think your husbands alittle over the top,if it's a tattoo for your kids and no one will see it and he doesn't have to pay for it,he should relax. i would never leave my SO because of the way he looks, it's what's in the inside that counts.
    pam228

    Answer by pam228 at 2:40 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • If it were a skull and cross bones, I could see his point.But your son's initials are not that big of a deal.Like in my marriage, sometimes he gets upset about one thing and something else is the real problem.I'm sure your s/o doesn't look eactly like he did when you met still.no one ever does.I think if you can get him to tell you what is really bothering him, things will get better for you both.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:05 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • If that was all that bothered by husband about me, I would not have had the tatoo. I would respect his wishes since how I treat my body is important to him and how he feels about me is important to the marriage. If it is just one of many things that irritate him about you, you may need to talk to him about working on that. Doing something even if it will cause trouble in the marriage is bad judgement and immature, IMO. I definitely would stop those body decorations if it bothers him so much. It's in your best interest in the long run.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 3:20 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • That fact that if you knew it would have caused so much trouble and would have gotten it anyway speaks volumes. You are very selfish. Granted your husband is a little extreme. But knowing this you should be more concerned with your relationship. He didn't marry a woman with tattoos. And he doesn't want one now.


    And if you're wondering yes I have 5 tattoos. 3 before I got married and 2 after.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:17 AM on Jun. 2, 2009