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sexual issues

My husband got mad at me cause i didn't feel like doing anything with him today. I have not been in the mood since i found out i was pregnant with my daughter. She is now 10 months old. He gets so mad at me. I don't know why i don't want to have sex. I love him, im just not in the mood. I have a full time job and i am the primary care giver of my child. My husband does not help out much with her.I feel like such a horrible wife. But i don't know whats wrong with me. Any one have any advise for me or what i can do to get in the mood?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • like nike says JUST DO IT!
    There are groups that you can join here on cafe mom that can help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Talk to your OB, they can probably offer you much better advice or determine if it's a medical issue or not. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • First look at the possible medical reasons why. Are you on birth control? Have you have your hormone levels tested? Have you spoken to your doctor?

    Then look at all the possible emotional and mental reasons why. Have you had any marriage issues that haven't been resolved? Are you overwhelmed with stress? Have you had any time to yourself to just wind down and relax? Do you and your husband get any time alone together to reconnect?

    There are so many reasons why this could be. First, talk to your doctor. Then look at the possibly emotional and mental reasons why.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 4:19 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I would of course talk to him,,,,,however, sometimes after being in a relationship we start get selective thinking,,,only noticing the negative. I have found that a relationship is much more pleasant if you concentrate on what you can give instead of get. Of course,,,I don't think that you should give 100% and him none,,,,,however you did marry him and have his child,,so there must be something good going for him. In other words, give into him some. Sex is not something he can go get else wheres when he's committed to you. It's not like your not cooking dinner and he can just go out and get take out. I hope something I said will help.
    Note: It's the opposite in my relationship. I want sex alot and he just doesn't feel like it. I think in my head why can't he just give me 10 minutes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Remember what it was that made you unable to keep your hands off each other and try to re-connect. I know it's exhausting, I've got 3 kids myself, but I like sex, it's fun and it's a release. When I started pulling away and hubby was getting miffed, I made it a point to make sure I had the time for myself. NOT HIM...ME. I'm not serving him by having sex, we both want it. But I also told him, he wants some "Nice Nice" he's got to pull his weight so I'm not so worn down. I can't go more than a week with out having sex, I'm not a horn dog, we just connect. Find that connection again. You have to be able to talk about it, and if you can, have some alone time with him, but no pressure. Keep it light, have a date! But you have to want it too. Maybe hubby's not pulling his weight, or you're not feeling sexy? Try to talk about it. Hope you feel better soon.

    Answer by Aneya at 4:24 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Take it from someone who doesn't get enough. This is how us horny people feel when the person we love, won't make love to us.

    1) we feel un attractive (yea guys too)

    2) we wonder why you don't want to feel close to us

    3) we wonder what we did wrong that you don't want to feel close to us

    4) we end up thinking about sex all day, because we can't get any

    5) we feel un loved

    6) we have an overload of feeling when we don't release our sexual energy, fights can easily break out when not having enough sex

    7) we wonder if your intereseted in someone else

    8) we wonder if anyone else in the world would find us more attractive than our SO

    9) we feel lik the relationship is going down hill, becuase obviously you don't want us close to you sexually

    10) it just makes us feel like dog poo when our love does not want to make love

    Do you REALLY want you

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:32 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • oh my god, Samurai, that was a really great answer. I've been in relationships where I've wanted more sex than my partner, but then would feel like an idiot when I would have lunch with my girlfriends and they would all complain about how their SOs want it all the time, and I had nothing to say to fit in. funny..

    Answer by krnrobey71 at 7:07 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • honey i am the total opposite i have been wanting to have sex since i found out i was prego but my husband doesnt want to at all nothing sexual which sucks, but anyways maybe get him to help you out with housework and kids and maybe since you arent so tired it would be better tell him to help you and you will help him

    Answer by mommyofalexis09 at 8:12 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • You are not a bad wife, your lazy husband should give you a break, you work full time and take care of your daughter. He should be very understanding about you not wanting to have sex. But if you feel like you have to please him, give him head or something. I did that when I was recovering after I had my daughter and my husband seemed fine with it. But if I was you I would smack him upside the head and tell him straight.

    Answer by mommy-17 at 8:44 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

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