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out of control 17 year old son

Hi, I am a mother of 6, and one of my oldest, Cameron (17) is a HANDFUL. He is
currently dating Gwen, the best friend of my other daughter, camerons
twin sister, Chloe, which causes fights all the time. On weekends, he will rarely
come home until sunday, and when he does, he has a really bad
hangover. A few times, I will find him in his room in the morning with
another girl in his bed, who he doesn't remember ever meeting. This
past year, he has been brought home from the cops FIVE times, and i
have had to come bail him out of jail two. Most of these times had to
do with possetion of alcohol by a minor, and 3 were having sex on
privrite property. I am very concerned with him and at this point, I
am not sure what to do. I also have 4 other children, Ashley, who is
14, Cassie, who is 11, and Cody and Cooper, who are 4, and i don't want Cameron
influencing them like this. I can't control him. He cant contro

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xxDianaxx

Asked by xxDianaxx at 5:07 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • boot camp
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:13 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • If he is man enough to go out and drink and have sex, then IMO, he old enough to have a job and be out on his own. You need to show him some tough love and explain that he needs to get out before influences the others. And at 17 he is plenty old enough to get a job and get out. Don't let him rule the roost. He is taking atvantage of you and your generosity. No more bailing him out. And, I would tell his girlfriend.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:14 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Tell him the next time he goes to jail, you will NOT bail him out. If he wants to think he is an adult, by acting like an adult, he needs to get a job and pay rent. Check with the courts or CPS. Maybe he needs to be thrown out. I'm sorry, but that type of behavior would not be tolerated in my house. What does his father say?


    Also, I hope he is having safe sex. Make sure he is being tested for STDs and AIDS. If he is going to be sleeping around, he needs to be responsible for it. And is he prepared to pay child support when he gets one of these girls pregnant? Does he understand the full consequences of these actions.


    I'm not trying to be mean, but it sounds like he needs some tough love. Please get on it now. He is only 17 and has his whole life ahead of him.

    mommyaunt412

    Answer by mommyaunt412 at 5:21 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • He does have a job, believe it or not, he works as a children' s aftercare/camp counselor, so he could technically be fine out in the real world if we did kick him out. But the thing is . If he is home while drunk or hungover or having sex, at least i know that he is home and safe. If he didnt live here, i would worry about him way too much.

    Mommyaunt412, his father was just like him in high school, so when the cops bring him home or we get a phone call, he says " Hes just young and he is living his life. Cut him a break."

    BradenIsMySon, what you said about telling his girlfriend, she already knows. Cameron manipulates girls so he convinced her that hes not cheating unless he has another girlfriend that he is seeing. I dont want my other 2 girls seeing this and thinking that all they are good for is sex, which is what he is teaching them by having sex with these girls and then never talking to them again.
    xxDianaxx

    Answer by xxDianaxx at 5:50 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Worried about him or not...the longer he is allowed to stay and do that without repercussions...the longer it will go on and could lead to worse things. His dad needs to get tough. He is only paving the way for all your other kids to do the same things or worse.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:55 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • By keeping him home, you're not being a caring mother like you think you are. I'm sorry, but you're being selfish. What about your other kids? He needs to be kicked out. He'll be 18 soon, he needs to grow up.

    My mom kicked me out once and sure I was like FINALLY no more bugging me, but eventually I learned my lesson. It could take even a year, but if the father won't punish him, he needs a cold shoulder.
    ours

    Answer by ours at 7:30 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Well if that was my kid, I would beat the living shit out of him to start. Every time he came home with a hangover, he would do yard work. I would tell him "My house, my rules, if you dont like it get the fuck out!" Do not bail him out of jail anymore, let him suffer. Do not allow him to bring anyone or anything home. Do not give him a house key, so if he is late on curfew, he sleeps outside. Let him stay out, he will crawl back to you like a little bitch. Also if he was my kid, I would make sure to let him do it on his own, and I mean everything. Children, or should I say garbage like this needs to be thrown out of your other childrens lives. Its not entirely your fault he is like that, so dont bash yourslf. I see a lot of kids like this around. I am 17 years old and If I came home like that my mother would beat me, literally.
    MammaBella

    Answer by MammaBella at 8:59 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • mammabella, harsh, but I agree besides the beating him up part haha. Seriously though, everything she said is what your boy needs. Don't read these posts and be like. "Well I just can't do that he's my son..." Think about your other kids. And remember you're not doing him ANY good. He's just going to probably get worse. You're his momma, fix him.
    ours

    Answer by ours at 10:25 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • i toatal agree with mamabella i wouldnt be bailing him out of jail and i wouldnt tellerate him bring girls home to his bed either. i have a news flash for u if he get caught drinking at home and hes under age u will be fined and put in jail then who would take care of ur younger childeren? think of them first.
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 10:41 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Dont bail him out. Leave him in there
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

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