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My son is 11 and I want to know how to help my son control his temper and stop being so head strong that he wont do what I say?

I want to let him know it is ok to be upset but hitting our head against the wall, table or shower is going to do it. Anyone have any ideas?

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Asked by countrymom300 at 5:49 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (5)
  • Get him to counseling sounds like a deeper issue...The sooner you do it the more they can help him...Gl I hope he gets better....

    Answer by heather.darin at 6:28 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • That's serious and could cause head injury. I would consult physician.

    Answer by writeon at 6:37 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Sounds like he has a problem verbalizing his anger. Try to get him to talk to you about what he is mad about and provide ideas of what is acceptable behavior. Here are some books for aggressive/acting out behaviors which you might find helpful.


    Answer by momjs at 9:04 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • This doesn't sound like normal tween behavior, I would get him evaluated by a counselor and into anger management. It is really helpful, my son went when he was in 3rd grade, he learned how to handle his anger and how to verbalize it. He also learned that it is ok to be angry but he couldn't hurt himself or others or damage anything.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:47 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Is this behavior recent?

    He needs to be evaluated by a child or adolescent psychologist or psychiatrist, quickly. Once he's evaluated and they determine the cause of his behavior, you can then determine the best treatment for it (i.e. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Anger Management, etc).

    When a child causes injury to themselves regardless of the reason, they are symptoms of something bigger, like bipolar, depression, personality disorder, or some other psychological distress.

    In the meantime, If you are afraid he'll injury himself significantly, then you need to either call a mobile mental health unit or crisis team (every county has one through the State Mental Health Department) or 911


    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 5:37 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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