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does anyone think this is morally/ethically wrong?

ok..a little distraction from xtians-vs-everyone else/prolife-vs-prochoice posts...i got home today, and the first thing out of my dh's mouth was, ''you'll never guess what i got in the mail today! a notice from a collection agency!"
me:''from the dentist's office?"
dh:"yeah! can you believe that crap! they never sent me a bill, but turned it over to a collection agency! i went and paid it right away, hoping to keep it off my credit report, but..can you believe that!?!"
me:''yeah, i can. i asked you 3 mos ago if they sent the remainder of the bill, you said 'no'. why didn't you call and find out?"
dh:"its not my job to do that! they should've made sure i received the bill. they said it got sent to our old address."
me:''but the collection notice came here? (laughing at this, but totally shocked that he wouldn't check-up himself..)are you telling me you think you are right to just assume you didn't have a bill...(cont)


Asked by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Sorry, I see the fault in his corner. He recieved a service, he didn't pay for it. He knew he owed money and should have made sure that the bill was paid. It's not the dentists fault or the collection agency's either. The dentist is not required to send you more than one bill. If he knew what was owed, he should have paid it...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:10 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • ..when you knew a crown cost more than your office visit fee?"
    who is with me on this? he thinks he's totally free of responsibility, because of the office's mistake. i said he should've called and made it good.
    oh yeah, i'm anon on this.LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Well, he should have checked up on it if it had been longer than 30 days w/o the bill showing up.

    However, I fully understand and get the need to say "THEY are responsible if its that important to them to get money from me" LOL. And have used that on occasion but not when dealing with this type of situation.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 7:56 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • A debt is a debt, and if he knew he owed it, he should have paid it. Also, because he didn't recieve a notice that he knows about the collection agency might be willing to drop his fee's. The sooner he pays it, the better. The longer he procrastinates on this the longer it will stay on his credit.

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 7:57 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I don't see it as morally or ethically wrong, I see it as simple irresponsibility because it is ultimately his carelessness that caused the bill to go to collections.


    Answer by anetrnlov at 7:57 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I don't think your conversation had any thing that was morally/ethically wrong violated. Men have the tendency to forget about bills such as the Dentist Bill.  With the way this economy is heading towards, I honestly wouldn't worry too much when it comes to your credit score because almost half of our country has horrible credit.  With that being said, please don't ruin your evening with your husband because of a dentist bill. 


    Answer by leighannarobey at 8:00 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I kinda have to agree with your DH on this one...

    They obviously found the right address for the collection agency, so you couldn't have been that hard to track down for the payment...Plus, did they ever call? Why wouldn't their billing people call the number on file to see if they had a correct address if they weren't recieving payments? Especially if you are regular patients?

    And while DH may have been a tad irresponsible, many factors contribute to the billing process. If they are billing the insurance, waiting for a response, if they filed an appeal for payment on his behalf, etc...So, a bill could vey well take months after services to be delivered...especially in the healthcare/dental field.

    Maybe he can call the office and have them remove his account from the collection agency (that way it won't be on his credit score) as long as he pays the dentist directly and within X amount of time...


    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:32 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I don't think he was morally/ethically wrong, I think he was lazy (and I mean no judgement on that- I am totally the person whose dentist bill would get sent to a collection agency because it got lost in the mail... I am just someone who would forget all about it until the bill came in and if the bill never came in it would remain forgotten!) To me morally/ethically wrong involves some kind of malice (Heh heh heh...I got my filling and now I am never going to pay the guy for it!!!!) It is probably not mindful to forget about your bill, but assuming he is not planning to rip off the dentist I don't think it's a matter of morality.

    Answer by Freela at 8:37 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • well...having worked for an electric company in the "money-taking" section, its his fault. ive had to tell numerous ppl who had their electric turned off they shoulda called us when they didnt get a bill. the company cant call every single person to make sure they received a bill.

    but it doesnt make it right. i always had issues w/ telling ppl we couldnt do anything till they payed their bill when they really didnt know about it. i hope the collection agency/dentist will do something to keep it off your credit report.

    Answer by okmanders at 8:40 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • he went right to the dentist's office and paid it, so hopefully, it will turn out to his/our good.
    i know men are lazy and forgetful..but come on...i remember him once saying, ''i guess i'll find out if i owe anymore $$ when i go in for my cleaning.'' and i do agree, that if the office's billing dept had both addresses/phone numbers on file...they should've sent it to the correct address or at least called him. i'm just dumbfounded that he thought he was innocent of any wrongdoing.
    dinner wasn't ruined; his grilled hamburgers were great! and we're currently discussing why all of foxnews anchorwomen are blonde. but that's another post...

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:00 PM on Jun. 1, 2009