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my kids are in foster care and im getting rhem back how do i get them to call me mom again

hello, my name is tasha , and my kids are in foster care due to my now ex shanking my youngest baby he is now 1yrs old and i have a 3 yr old also they have been in foster care for almost 1/2 almost 2 yrs i go see them oftin as i can they are in florida and im in oklahoma, when i go see them they dont call me mom or mommy, to them i am know as that lady thats what my oldest calls me anyway, the case workers say in court that they need to call me mom or mommy, and they say that would help my case. how do i get them to call me mommy or mom, i dont want to feel like i am brain washing them or anything , i dont know what to do on that part can smeone please help,

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • tell them who you are... mommy
    love them hug them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • show them pictures if you have any of you pregnant or them as babies, earn your title back girl.

    Answer by staciandababy at 8:19 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • hug them tell them a story of how u are their mother! u are their mother! it might take some time.. but they are very young, they prob will call u mommy

    Answer by NewLady1 at 8:32 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I am a foster now adoptive mom...ask the foster parents to show the kids your picture every day and say this is your mommy ______. If you are gettting you kids back then the Social Services thinks you deserve to be their mommy. So therefor you are owed that respect. Congratulations on doing what it takes to get them back. I so often have to see the flip side of it. If it doesn't work or the foster parents won't comply, do not worry. Your kids will call you mom eventually anyway. My adopted daughter did and she was 4 when she first came here. Also make sure to thank the foster parents. They have been raising your children a long time and letting go is going to be hard for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • and it will be hard for your children. Stay strong and just keep loving them through it all. It will all turn out okay in the end.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I'm sorry if this comes across as cold but, I don't mean to be so. I don't know the details of the situtaion & don't know anyone who has gone through what you've gone through. I don't understand how you would have your children taken away for what someone else did to them but, I can't say that never happens either. But, regardless of the details in your childrens eyes, those young & impressionable eyes you've abandoned them (even if you didn't do anything wrong & are a victim of the system, they don't understand that). You need to earn thier trust & that takes time. I would not push them calling you "mommy". This must be a very confusing time for them &I would focus your energies on meeting thier needs emotionally etc. I understand that them calling you Mom will help your case, but I wouldn't force it. If you are doing everything you can be the best Mom you can be I think it will work out for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • With you being that many states away how often are you going to see them? Is there any way you can go down and stay longer or untill you get them back? I would assume the amount of time you spend with them can have a big impact on this also. Talk to them daily ifyou can too, klet them hear your voice, let them know you love them, send them a photo album of you and them any pictures you might have of happy family life. When you talk to them refer to yourself in the 3rd person, tell them, "mommy loves you" Or "let mommy help you" stuff like that. Good luck on this, and like the previous anon said, give them time, they are going to be very scared, and confused, let them go at their own pace, and help them to feel comfortable.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • The Foster Family should have been helping you and the kids along with this one. This is not something that is going to happen over night. It will take time. No judge in the land is going to expect children that young who have been in foster care in a totally different state to be calling you Mommy. It is unrealistic. How on earth did they wind up in another state to begin with? It would be very hard to form relationships with children who are out of state to say the least. Time is the only thing on your side on this one. It will be an adjustment for all of you. In the future be more careful of who you have in your childrens lives.

    Answer by salexander at 11:29 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • they are supposed to attempt to place the kids in the same county!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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