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I`m here at my parents place w/ my daughter. I don`t know how long I can last.

I never thought my family is bad people. I`m visiting them to stay for 6 weeks. It`s day 4 here. My family lives in a different country (where I`m from), so we thought it`s a good idea for our daughter to learn the language and experience the culture. Well, now shes behaving pretty naughty here. I know I should consider how tired she is (14 hours time difference here), but still... A week ago, my daughter was a sweet girl who`s kind and gentle and listens to her parents. Not any more. She talks back all the time... My family is not helping for their parenting is VERY different, though they try to respect mine. They respect, but they can`t do as I would do. Would you please give me encouraging words? I think I know what i have to do. It`s just so hard here, being away from my home and my husband, and start living with my parents after 15 years. And darn it. They use a different keybord!

Answer Question
 
Meachan

Asked by Meachan at 8:43 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 5 (67 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • FYI, if you are curious what we are doing here, just ask, and don:t make an assumption that I`m doing something bad for my daughter, please. Also, please refrain from judging or anything negative. Thanks.
    Meachan

    Answer by Meachan at 8:45 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • tell them that you need to be the one who teaches your daughter, not them. i understand you want your daughter to learn a different language...i want my son to be bilingual, too. we go to DHs grandmas house every day in order for him to learn it. you just need to tell them that you parent the way you do and you need to be respected for that. just remind her that even though your with your family in a different country that does not give her the right to behave that way. she still needs to be on good behavior. good luck!
    kelsey.evans08

    Answer by kelsey.evans08 at 8:47 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • wow! what country are they from!?? i couldnt deal with 6 wks either. i doubt it. probablly exciting for a weekend experience or so but thats a little much! keep hanging in there girlfriend! im sure ur daughter just has to adapt! just hang in there. why are u there for 6 wks??
    NewLady1

    Answer by NewLady1 at 8:48 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • She is probably just testing the her boundaries. She is a smart kid and knows that things are different in this different place. She is testing you just like all kids do. Just stick to your parenting the way you believe is right and she'll get the hint pretty quickly that things are the same here as at home. If you need to send the message loud and clear to her then go ahead and do it. It's not that fault of your family and it's not your fault either. It's natural for her to do this and it means that you've got a smart little cookie on your hands!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:03 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I agree with beckcorc. She'd testing you. She's trying to figure out if you'l do the same things that you did at home. Just stick to it and she'll get it.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 10:14 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I agree with the other ladies. She is just testing you to see what she can get away with. Just continue to keep the rules the same as you would at home.
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 2:26 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I too agree, she is testing the waters. She is in a new place. Its only been 4 days. Jet lag can last for a week or more. I bet if you are consistant with how you discipline and what is expected she will come back around. I would wait a couple weeks before asking your family to back off. Let things settle down. YOUR tired and jet lagged too dont forget that :). Have fun with your family. Enjoy this time together!
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:32 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Honey, fish and family smell in three days! Even when your parents live across town it can be hard to stay with them. No house is big enough for two families. You say you know what you need to do, so DO it. Respectfully tell your parents you will take their advice into consideration but you feel it is important to be the one who disciplines her. Then get to disciplining! Tell her although you are far from home, the same rules apply. Is she missing Daddy? Can she call him on the phone. I really don't know the situation so it is hard to give better advice. Just be consistant in your discipline and with time she will adjust.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:12 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Thanks, guys! You are right. She`s testing my family and me. (By the way, I love the expression of fish and family smelling in 3 days) In case some are wondering why I`m here; my DD is in a kindergarten as a foreign exchange student. Exchange programs are usually for older kids, and stay at a host family, but we`re fortunate enough to do at the early age, and we stay at my family (easy on our finances). Again, thanks for the encouragement!
    Meachan

    Answer by Meachan at 12:16 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

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