Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do i prepare myself for a divorce,

I have 2 small kids with him,Will anybody want me with 2 kids.My husband broke our happy home he doesnt want to be with me.Will another man want to be a part of my kids life?????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Jun. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Yes, there may well be another man who will love you and your children. Meanwhile make a life for you and your children without feeling that you must have a man in your life. Make a life for yourself and children. I assume you and your husband have gotten counseling? or even just you? If it is time for divorce, you may want to collect as much money as you can in an account in your own name. Consult a lawyer to find out what you should and shouldn't do. Good luck!

    Answer by Bmat at 9:20 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Actually we havent went to counsling,he just doesnt think i deserve a second chance for neglecting him while i was absorbed with the kids.he doesnt believe in second chances.Im Heartbroken.This isnt what i envisioned for us.Men suck

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • the fact that he is being so self rightious shows that you deserve better. that is not a man, thats a child hon. I agree with the other poster, start taking care of you and what you need. get into hobbies and interests that you gave up to be a "good" wife. Connect with old friends and family that you were too busy to be with , and love your kids and never let them think they caused this pain. A man that is jealous of his own kids, again is a child and you are better off. You cannot see it now but you will one day I promise. and the best revenge? a good happy life that he will look at one day and say"man why did I leave her" but guess what? By then it will be too late and you will 1. be with a good true man who adored you and your kids, and 2. you will not care enough about him to even feel sorry for him.

    good luck and be brave, you can do this and its gonna be ok.(hugs)

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:33 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • oh bears u just made me cryyyy like a baby while reading your response.Thank you soooo much and i hope your right im going to read your response everyday for strength.Everything u said will help me cause your sooooo right sweety.Thank you sooooo much i will carry your words for ever.I do deserve better and so do my kids.Thanks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • yes, there are plenty of good men that will love you && your children like you all deserve to be loved. However, I do agree that right now you just need to worry about making a new life for you && your children. Don't go out looking for someone, give yourself time to heal && get over your husband, && when you're least expecting it someone great will walk into you life.

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 9:41 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • yes

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:45 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Men do not suck. Marriage first. Kids second. Children with a Mom and Dad who love eachother benefit much more than a Mom who is absorbed in them and has no care for their father. It is said that the best gift a man can give his children is to love their mother. The opposite is true as well. I'm sorry you are going through this. You do deserve the best...HOWEVER...the attitude of self fulfillment over obligation is ruining our society. In the future if you find a truly good man, hold onto him. Love him and treat him like royalty. He'll do the same for you and your kids will see that example of love and devotion. They will model their behavior after your behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • I agree that the best thing is to make a life for yourself without a man, but if you have trust issues stemming from this, my advice would be to be friends with a man before it becomes more than that. My husband got me away from my three kids' abusive father, and he's more of a father to them than my ex ever was! I'm 40 now, and I've known this man since I was 18! Therefore, I was able to look back over the years and see for myself that he wouldn't do me as my ex did. For the longest, I thought I deserved what my ex was dishing out to me, but my dh showed me different...that there WAS a man who would love me and the kids the way we deserve.

    Don't lose hope! Feel free to pm me if you need further support. You're not alone in this!

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:53 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • well, i hate to be the one to let you in on the obvious, but yes, their are men out their that will love your children, some that will try and control your children and others that will try and tell you how to talk care of your children, and those are just the ones taht will go after you, knowing you ahve children. i am a step mother and there is one fact that is always true, every woman is no different then any man. my step children's step father wants to try and control them, tell them that their father don't care about them and tells their mother how to raise them. as for the woman thing, i am their step mother who believes in a different way to raise children, then my husband does, but these are children that have been raised my husbnad's way, all of their lives. so, where i think they should be hit he doesn't raise a hand to them, so i respect that and i go by the way that they were raised with their father. that is the

    Answer by sherlockhlm at 11:06 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • cont... how things should be, i believe that their are men out there just like their are women that will be step parents and help raise children by teh way taht they are use to and how you wnat them too. they will love your children like i love my husband's three children, they will love to help you with them, like i do. i have my opinions and i treat them different, but basically, i do like their father, i don't raise a hand to them, i don't yell at them, becasue i'm mad, i don't punish just one of them but i don't punish them without reason. i talk to them, and i explain to them why i'm doing what i'm doing and i never force them to do anything, when they don't want to listen i tell their father and they listen to him, better then anyone. when it comes down to it, you'll better a guy that will understand and want the kids to come first. before we even thought about getting engaged, i explain to my husband i come second only

    Answer by sherlockhlm at 11:12 PM on Jun. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.