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How do you get past an impossible step child, how do you make your relationship work with them always trying to ruin it

My step son is the most difficult, disrespectful child i have ever met in my life. I have a 11 month old son and am 8 months pregnant with my daughter and my step son stresses me out so much. I try to ignore him I try talking to his parents but nothing seems to work. Im wondering how i can make my relationship survive when me and my husband are always fighting about his son.

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andrea121984

Asked by andrea121984 at 1:41 AM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I think that you need to try to find some common ground. You both love his father, so this is a starting point. Is he interested in baseball or some other sport? Does he have a skill or interest in cooking? Try to find something that the two of you can share, and take him out to lunch and discuss it.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:58 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • He is most likely acting this way because he is unhappy that his mom and dad aren't together anymore. Or were they together before anyway? Don't take it personally. He is too young to express his feelings in a more mature way. I would sit down with him and have your hubs there too and talk to him. Don't give up. Kill him with kindness and he'll come around. :)
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 10:35 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • hello....i don't have the answer to your question because my daughter has a stepmom......she usually tells everyone it is my daughter who is the problem.... this started when my child was 4....i would receive letters telling me how fat she was, her long hair was cut w/o my permission on the 2nd visit, she told the school we were homeless.......the list goes on......the sad thing is.....when she is not upset with my daughter she is a great woman.....i guess i have a hard time when adults always seem to blame the children but, sometimes they need to sit down and reevaluate the situation.....trust me....i have a child with autism and i always have to think before i act....well....alot anyway.....maybe get to know your stepchild better and if they are a teen.....remember what it was like to be a teen.....if behavioral issues.....check out what you feel the cause may be and talk with all guardians involved, trust me love rocks....
    loriann

    Answer by loriann at 7:25 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • How old is your stepson?

    Try to remember that he is reacting to the trauma in his life. Parents divorcing, remarrying, and moving in with other families are enormously distressful for children of any age, and he probably sees you as the reason for all this drama. He is reacting in the only way that makes sense to him.

    Treat him with kindness no matter how hard it is. Try to learn what his interests are (ex. sport) and show support for him in that area. Cook meals that he likes. Encourage time between him and his dad, maybe even plan a weekend trip for them to go somewhere together. Be kind but stick to your guns. Continue to communicate with his father about issues that arise.

    Also, praise him for good things he does, or even the mundane things. "You're a good biker, Jake" or "It's cool that you and your dad enjoy doing ___ together."

    He'll come around eventually.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 4:57 AM on Jun. 15, 2009

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