Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mother-in-law lied- help?

My mother in law is old- 86 to be exact. My hubby was her youngest child. She has a car that is just sitting there that she cant drive anymore (wont sell) - so she asked my hubby to come over 1x a week and drive it to work -so it gets used. I told him its just an excuse for her to see him- he knows that. Anyway the problem is we where at a family picnic and she had told everyone that my hubby needs to use her car to save gas money cause we had a baby last yr. and I dont work. This came out in conversation and I was embarrassed-its not the truth-thats not the reason. His sister used the car to go somewhere and said I know you (need it) so I will get it back soon. How can I make them understand it was her idea- not ours- and we are not in the poor house begging for help. I am so embarrassed- my hubby doesnt care- hes still going over to drive her car 1x a week, I told him I think it would be ok to sit there a month. Help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:44 AM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Let it roll off your back. You 2 know the real story and it's nothing to get upset by or have family conflicts over it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I would say in a loud voice at the next get together to his relatives ( when shes not in the room)- What day are u going to Moms to drive her car - so she can visit u ?-ha. ha. Isnt it funny how she got him to come over with that car excuse?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • It's sad that she feels she needs an excuse for he son to come over once a week. Especially at her age. He should be there at least daily. That's his mom. It sounds like she is just trying to save you the embarrassment of needing an excuse to get him over there. So now they think you're poor instead of feeling threatened by his mother.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:54 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • At the age she's at, she may really think in her mind that is the reason he's doing it. Maybe she doesn't really remember asking him the favor. I would just ignore it and be glad that nobody's going to come to you asking to borrow money!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • why does it matter what they think? I know youre embarrassed at what she said, but youre wasting too much energy worrying about if the family now thinks you are in the poor house. So what if you are or arent? Theres no reputation to uphold with them. If you need to confront her just ask her why she said that. Let her know that you were under the impression it was just to keep the car in running condition and that you dont need it. Dont try to set it straight with the family members....its not that big of a deal. I know it hurts for people to treat you that way, but its common for in laws to act like that. She probably doesnt understand the SAHM thing. I know my in laws didnt, but they support me now. Simply because I never backed off my stance that I wanted to be home with my kids. Good luck.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:56 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Why cant her other kids take turns driving the car- do u live near her? I would let them no we r not in the poor house tho- some how I would comment what a good job he has- I would not let them think that- cause it isnt the truth.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I would let your SIL know you don't need the car but you are helping your MIL out. She doesn't need to worry about getting it back. Sound like you are more concerned about her needs than setting the record straight - if you can be sincere. You will look gracious and you will have the opportunity to let the truth me known without offending.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 8:18 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Really, it's not important. He should go see his mom. At 86, she isn't going to be around much longer. Just ride the wave.
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 8:26 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Do u live near her- is this inconvienent- can the other kids take turns driving it- why does it have to be only ur hubby? Tell his relatives the truth when shes not around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Chrissy, Visit Daily, I don't think so... we just buried my MIL in Jan. She only made it to 85. She had her way of playing the four kids off of each other so the result was that she got the maximum attention. Do try to keep the direct communication with his siblings open, otherwise it gets real ugly.

    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 9:11 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.