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What is a good program to put on the computer that will archive AIM instant messaging? The rule is computer transparency in our home.

My 14 year old dd is deleting the convos right before getting off the computer. Mostly it's a power struggle for privacy after we told her we didn't like some of the things we saw when we checked the history... A restricted(18) download from one boy along with some suggestive talk from him (not her), some things her bf said, mostly suggestive talk about getting laid in online video games, calling us assholes ( she is not allowed to see bf outside of school and doesn't), and one comment from her to him about a dream she had regarding making out and touching "junk". She has been very good at home w/chores, school, signing up for summer volunteering, and possibly teaching flute, and is only allowed 1 hour on the computer, but will take a walk w/phone and talk w/bf. He can't deal w/the limits on the relationship..needs to keep her interested.
We are trying to monitor this w/out making her crazy, although it makes us a bit crazy.

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Asked by dflygirl7 at 7:52 AM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • From personal experience, 14 year olds talk. That doesn't mean they DO stuff. I was a 14 year old who participated in sexual conversations online, while my parents were too busy watching tv or whatever else they were doing. I maintain that I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20, and I'd been with that guy for almost five years at that time. Keep in mind that exploring sexuality when one hits puberty is normal. That doesn't mean leave your daughter alone in a room with this guy, but it means you should trust that you've raised her to keep her panties on, and let her talk.


    Answer by BisketLiss at 8:22 AM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I have since learned that net nanny is a popular program, but that the new version of AIM is encrypted and no monitoring software will capture that. Ah, well, we 'll just have to monitor as best we can and limit the time on AIM or disable it completely. I don't know if anyone else feels the same, but we feel that more racey content is typed in the sheltered and somewhat secretive comfort of one's own home than would ever be said in person, face to face. And who knows where the other person is and who is looking over their shoulder. I do know that these convos can be printed out and shared!!

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 5:30 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I did the same, I talked sexual with boys, even older boys but nothing ever happened until I was older. Maybe no as old as my parents would of wanted. But I wouldn't do anything at the age of 14.

    Answer by CamiiiCompasion at 5:25 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

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