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Why is it when u stop working those pople dont bother with u anymore?

Im a SAHM now- but I try to stay in touch with the girls I used to work with- we used to hangout -they have kids. The only thing that changed is I dont work with them anymore. I have called the 1 I was closest to several x's she only called me back once, and we exchange xmas cards-its been 3 yrs. I just wander why when u work with girls u think ur friends and then u leave and they dont bother with u anymore. I used to go to her house- I dont think its right- I am the same person still.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You have real friends and work friends. When work is over so is the friendship.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I know what you mean. Even the people that you think you are great friends with seem to drift apart. It is really odd about those who have children, especially, since you think you have at least that common bond. It is a sad thing. Make new friends, is all I can suggest. Talk to moms at the park or take an exercise class or talk with other moms in your neighborhood.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:01 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Aw, yea i know what you mean. i think most of the girls i used to work with got upset because they wanted to Stay at home but couldnt and i could. I guess oyu could say they were a little jelous!! but i tried to keep in touch, but only a few of them still talk to me. I kinda had to raise my chin and keep it moving. it hurts but what other choice do we have?!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 2:04 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I know how that goes. I think it is because you are no longer around them everyday at work and have that connection and that to talk about. It does not mean that they don't like you, they just don't have that common ground interest with you anymore. Maybe they keep meaning to contact you, but don't know what to say. Or they could be like me-- I think of my friends but alot of times I am either too busy to call, it is too late to call, or I know they are at work-- and then when they are home and could be called- then alot of times I am busy. I agree with Bmat, maybe it is time to look around and make some new friends.

    Answer by MizLee at 2:17 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I feel it maybe because when you have to work and you have children that all equals
    less time for anything. You should know this yourself.
    When a mom works there is less time for everything.
    I too was a sahm, now I work. If I had a choice I would be a sahm again.

    Answer by Dannee at 2:18 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • There is a difference between being "networked" with people (you just find yourselves in the same location, or working on the same projects) and being actually friends. It's not a criticism, it's just true.

    Today, the difficulty of just surviving creates a hectic pace, and mothers who work have barely enough time for the most basic care of the family, let alone time to get showered and dressed for work. When I worked full time and had school-aged children (even though my husband was being Mr. Mom), I always arrived home with the reality that I was about 3 hours behind in what needed to be done for the family's well-being and sanity.

    So for a lot of working moms, the ONLY time for relating to co-workers is DURING the work day, with those casual exchanges which come up in between work tasks.

    Don't take it personally - they are under a strain. Just do know that your family is far better off receiving your full-time care!

    Answer by waldorfmom at 2:39 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I suspect that you haven't noticed that when you were there all the time you made plans, stayed connected and interacted almost exclusively at work. If you went to one's home twice or three times a month, that's eclisped by the time spent with that one for hours at work every week.

    Now that you're not there, they may be wondering why you aren't there for them, either. Even if they miss you, you weren't evening and weekend friends -- you were daytime friends. With wildly different schedules, you have much less in common than you used to.

    It takes about 2.5 years to make a social network (when you move, change your family circumstances, change jobs)... and that's just the way it is, not a commentary on who is mean or wrong (or nice or right).

    You need to find people who are available during the day, anyhow. Make new friends, and keep in touch with the old ones -- then you'll have lots and you won't feel bitter.

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:05 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • your not the same person

    a sahm and a career woman are two different lifestyles.....

    make sahm friends

    Answer by moki1984 at 3:54 PM on Jun. 2, 2009