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Has your child ever told you "I hate you"??

My 3 yr old said it the other day, because I didn't give him something he wanted. He heard it from that movie "Finding Nemo". (Remember, Nemo says that to his Dad after getting too close to the Dropoff)
So anyway, my DH tanned his hiney and made him sit in his room to think it over. I went in about 10 mins later and explained to him how much it hurt to hear him say that, and also that when we love someone, we don't say hurtful things to them. My DH said I was laying a guilt trip on our son... I think I was explaining why it was inappropriate and why he was punished.
Do you think it was a "guilt trip"? What would you have done in that situation?

Answer Question
 
brandyj

Asked by brandyj at 2:39 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 21 (10,228 Credits)
Answers (39)
  • My 8yr old said that when she was about 2 with a very serious look on her face because I wouldn't let her sit in the front seat with her father. Her daddy was like "what did she just said". We were sitting there stunned.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 2:44 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Oh I told her that hate was a "bad" word. She never let me hear her say that again in that phrase of course.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 2:45 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Yes,,And I sad to her "Good, then I must be doing a good job". Kids are not always going to like your decisions,/how to raise them.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:46 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • My 2 1/2 yr old said it to me, and I told him why not to say it that it hurt my feelings and it's rude, and I'm his mom and he needs to respect me. I don't think explaining to your child why he's being punished is wrong, they still are not sure what they did wrong, every thing is a learning process.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 2:48 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Wow, louise... you're tough! I had to walk away b/c it brought tears to my eyes to hear him say that. That's why my husband intervened... he gets really mad when our kids are disrespectful, and woe to anyone that hurts me (feelings or otherwise), cause they get the worse side of him.
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 2:50 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Yes,,And I sad to her "Good, then I must be doing a good job". Kids are not always going to like your decisions,/how to raise them.

    Lol, now that's what I'm talking about. ; }
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 2:53 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Not every day thankfully. LOL

    My twins once in a blue moon will be so so mad and stomp up the stairs saying "i HATE you!!!!" However the oldest twin(they are 5 btw) before bedtime will come up to me, give me a kiss and says "i love you mommy you're my bestest friend ever." then he adds, "I love you even when i don't love you" ha ha!!!!!(meaning basically he loves me even when he says he hates me i suppose LOL) cracks me up!
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 3:13 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • To the post,,What you did in front of your kid/s,The crying thing ,,Let the kid/s know if they say hurtful things ,,they might eventually get there way..Your DH is not always going to be there to intervene.Remember JMO.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:14 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Oh i forgot to answer your question LOLLLL
    I don't think it's laying a guilt trip on him. I think maybe your hubby is one of those guys who are "too cool to cry or share feelings cause REAL men don't do that kind of stuff" kinda guy. I don't know him so not judging him just making an observation here. Anyway, kids*(especially boys) need to know that certain words and thoughts can hurt other people. They need to know that it's NOT okay to talk to someone and not care about how it makes them feel. Period.

    I loved that scene(prior to the i hate you comment from nemo) when all those little fishies and seahorse are saying "he touched the butt!" LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL sorry, just one of my fave parts in the movie. My kids crack up when I say the lines from that part of the movie. Or the part where the little seahorse says "I'm h2o intolerant" then sneezes....okay sorry, i'm getting off topic here. Gotta go find that movie now.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 3:18 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • No not yet, but mines are 8,almost 13 & 12 I am sure it's coming!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 3:28 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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