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possible divorce situation

My husband and I have a six month old son. Things have been bad for forever. Anyways I want to leave him. everytime i mention it he threatens to take our son. my family lives 500 miles away and that is where i want to be, but he said he wont allow me to take our son out of the state. can he do this? if so what can i do about it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Unless he is abusive and you can prove it....and it all depends on the state you are from..
    Speaking for your husband you have no right taking his son away from him.

    Children need both parents.....your husband is just as important to your son, as you are.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:22 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • You have a few options here. You can take your child and move. Then after you have lived in your state after 6 months or whatever the state law is you can file for a legal seperation and have custody set and child support. You could file for divorce but usually you have to live somewhere longer to be a resident. I moved out of state and had to wait 6 months to file. The catch here is if the dad knows where you are living he can file for a divorce and legal custody right away and you could be ordered back into the state or lose custody. I had a neighbor whos husband did this after she left she had to move back or lose custody in the end she did move back and got custody but had to stay in the state. So either your dh would do this or would let it slide. If you did get ordered back you can show why you need to be there like family support, a good job it would be up to the judge. Maybe you could tell your dh you are going on
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • vacation with the child and start looking into rental homes and the job market and speak with an attorney there to see how long you have to live there before you file.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:26 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Okmommy crappy advice....for all you know her husband could be a good father..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:28 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • you should really think about divorce. you have a child with him, try and work it out. Have you ever heard of 'the love dare book'? i highly recommmend reading it.
    Give it a try. You both deserve to be happy, it will change your life.
    trl30

    Answer by trl30 at 3:28 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • whatever carol brady just giving her the facts, not judging and he could be a crappy dad too your point?
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:39 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Why not try to work on the marriage and give your child both parents? Marriage is work. There are two selfish people, each wanting to have their own ways, and someone has to be the first to recognize what the real problem is and be willing to wait for a little while. It would be wonderful if we got instructions before marriage, but it doesn't happen that way. We get married thinking "happliy ever after" and what we get is pulling and tugging to have our own ways. There are very few marriages that can't be peaceful and fulfilling if one is willing to work towards that end and be just a little bit patient. My guess is that your husband loves you very much and your child, too, and he doesn't want you taking him and going to a place where he will seldom get to see either of you. There are very specific things that one spouse can do that will start the marriage in the right direction. Look for those and do them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:58 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I do think that I want to work it out, its just so hard. We fight so much. I just want the fighting to end. Trust me, I want my son to grow up with both parents. My parents have been married for 30 years!!!! Its just so rare these days to see marriages last a long time. I hate to give up, but I just hate all the stress. All I do is cry. My husband even talked me into taking zoloft, he thought it was post partum. Its not helping, I really just think its the relationship, but he doesnt think so, to him its just me. I mean we fought like this before I got pregnant. We have fought like this since I had my first miscarriage, we went through 2 before my son was born. Has anyone done marriage counseling?? Is it expensive, and what all did you do and talk about?? Thanks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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