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I'm 41,mother to 2 great kids & grandmother to 2 beautiful grandbabies,but I still have a great big hole in my heart because I was adopted.

I've known for along time,but with grands certain things come up & I wonder if it's from my family,,I pettioned(however you spell it) the courts over 12 yrs ago for just my medical records,was told I'd be notified once my biological parents die(nice hu?).I did get some facts about both of them though.Just tired of waiting,1 of my grands has autism and my daughter trys to blame it on herself because she couldn't take certain vitamins,,hell I couldn't take the prenatal vitamins carring both of them,,my children.Would love to find out just exactly "who" they are & medical only,,not looking for "parents".I had/my Dad died/have those!!

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funlovin_mama

Asked by funlovin_mama at 3:29 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • AWW i feel so sorry for how you feel!!! my mom just got the answer about her father shes been waiting on for 42 years. Her dad she has been raised with her entire life, the only man shes known wasnt her father...and she had an idea but no one ever told her. to make matters worse, her mother wont tell her who the guy is, and her oldest brother has known all along, but acts as if he could care less. I feel bad for how this makes her feel. She feels empty and unsure of herself. I know this isnt exactly like what your going through but your not alone!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 3:40 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I would hire an investigator to look for your biological family, they can find them and explain that you would just like to know the family medical history. Who knows, you might decide that you would like to meet your bio family later on. Maybe they are looking for you (I grew up knowing my bio half sister, I was adopted by her grandfather - my stepgrandfather - and her grandmother had custody of her, so we knew each other and we were looking for our bio mother, but when I was 21/22, our bio mother found HER!! She had been looking for US!).
    armycoppertop

    Answer by armycoppertop at 8:11 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Took me 31 yrs but the court made the agency i was adopted through contact my bio family because of my sons medical problems
    no9to54me

    Answer by no9to54me at 12:10 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I wouldn't hire an investigator because there are several groups of people who make it their life's work to reunited people separated by adoption. Google "search angels" in your area, they will tell you the best way to proceed and use their resources to help you. Best of luck. You are not alone and just because you want to find your birth family doesn't mean there is anything lacking with your adoptive parents. no guilt necessary :)

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:42 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I placed my twins 25 years ago and have no desire to find them. If they found me it would be fine but I was so young only 13 when I was raped by my father and concieved them. They are my half siblings and children. I don't want them to have that baggage. It breaks my heart not to see them but it would break my heart more if they knew how they came into the world and know their mom is also their sister. I have other children who have no clue about what happened to me. It is too painful. Your birth parents may have their reasons for not wanting to be found. I would be happy with the wonderful life you have. You could get what you want and find it destroys your life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I FEEL YOU,I AM ADOPTED TOO,SINCE MY BIOLOGICAL MOTHER GAVE ME IN ADOPTION 39 YEARS AGO,I WAS ANGRY WITH HER,CONFUSED, AND I FELT THAT HOLE IN MY LIFE,I FELT LIKE IF I WAS ALONE IN THE WORLD,WELL NOW I HAVE COMMUNICATION WITH MY BIOLOGICAL MOTHER,I DONT LOVE HER,YET, BUT IM TRYING,I MISS MY LOVELY AND GREAT ADOPTIVE MOTHER,SHE PAST AWAY 16 YEARS AGO,IF YOU NEED A GOOD FRIEND TO TALK MORE ABOUT IT,IM HERE
    mexicanbeauty

    Answer by mexicanbeauty at 3:09 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I am so sorry you feel you have a big hole in your heart. My five year old daughter is adopted. She is medically fragile. Getting any info from her biological parents was liking pulling teeth. I wish you luck & pray you find peace. We tried to establish a relationship with them but they refuse. What could keep my daughter from having a hoel in your heart?
    purple48

    Answer by purple48 at 11:30 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I Thank each & everyone for your input!! I did have a great childhood with my adopted parents & I miss my Dad 'till this day,he pasted in"91,maybe thats another reason I feel so strongly about getting "my" medical records.I will look up search angels in this area,but I cannot afford an investigator.I'm looking forward to adding the invites on here & chating,I'm not on everyday but it's nice to find new friends that can really relate!!Have a great & safe weekend all!! Thank you again!!
    funlovin_mama

    Answer by funlovin_mama at 11:49 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I have 4 children, one with autism & I took my vitamins during all my pregnancies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

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