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Threesome question: He's mad at me

My and my DH went to a bbq Saturday and I was talking to our friend Jenn and her DH Tony. Me and Jenn were talking about when we gave birth to our kids, yada yada. Then Tony tells Jenn "Ask her." Jenn says Tony thinks I'm hot and do I want to be in a 3some with them. I am stunned, shiver a bit and stand up and say "Ya know I am happily married and that's not my thing." I stand up go over to my husband and whisper in his ear, "In the car, now. Don't make a scene." We collect our things and get in the car to leave. I tell him what happened in the car. He gets upset that Tony was lusting after me, and now, my husband is acting mad at me!!! I turned it down! It freaked me out! That was Saturday and my DH hasn't kissed me bye when he goes to work, didn't talk to me at all last nite and went to bed by himself and left me in the living room. I know he feels icky for some other man wanting me, but I feel it handled it properly. Help!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I cant figure out why he is acting like that. You said No... I mean other men in the world would find you attractive Im sure he realizes that. If it were my husband he would have probably went back and kicked the guys ass. He shouldnt be taking it out on you. You should ask why he is mad at you you did the right thing.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:37 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • maybe he just wants to be mad for a little while, try and talk if he doesnt want to dont push that might make things worse....so if he doesnt want to talk just let him be mad hell come around
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • You did handle it properly. If that's not you scene, you were correct in what you did. Some guys feel weirded out when someone is lusting after their woman, you're right there but you need to sit down and talk to him about and make sure he understands that you did do the right thing. He shouldn't be angry with you, he should be angry with tony and jenn for even asking a woman that is happily married. Try to fix him a nice dinner when he gets home from work and then talk when the kids are in bed or playing in their rooms. I'd like to know what happens, I'm sorry you are having to go through this.
    innocencexinxme

    Answer by innocencexinxme at 3:40 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • uhhh, my man would be the same way. He would say that i should have like slapped them both in the face, or spilled my drink on them. He says i NEVER stand up for myself, but I just don't like being a total bitch unless someone is being a bitch to me. In this situation, she was not being a bitch. It was weird, & you handled it VERY WELL. He will get over it. He is probably FUMING that his friend was, as you said, lusting over you. He loves you, so you get to deal with his attitude about it. Maybe there is a side of him that is scared that you WANTED to do that. Guys can be so confusing. They never fully express how they're feeling & leave it up to us to figure out. Hope it all works out good. Be patient with him, he just wants you all for himself. You should be glad about that. I bet he'll be sweet to you tonight. Tell him you love him & that your the only man for him. He feels threatened.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:40 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • He's a man. And he might think that maybe you did something, or said something, to spark this guys interest in you. But given your reaction, he should know better then that. I think this is something he is going to have to work out for himself. But I'm sure you guys won't be hanging around with the other couple, right? Wow, that was uncalled for. To put you on the spot like that. Just go on with things, if he keeps treating you this way, then put your foot down and tell him to stop. You didn't do anything wrong, so he needs to stop treating you like you did.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 3:43 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Ask him. I'm sure he's probably more pissed at them, but you are the one around so you are getting the brunt of it. Just talk to him.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 3:46 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Tell him that you appreciate that he cares that much about you. Tell him also that you think you should stop seeing this couple. Then ask him what he thinks. He is more than likely furious at the other guy, but it's a lot easier for him to direct his anger at you. Tell him you understand his anger. Identify with what you think he is feeling, and tell him that you do. When you begin to tell him how disgusted you were that this man would even suggest such a thing, it may help him to express the same sentiments. Don't let this become an issue that divides the two of you, but rather turn it around to unite the two of you against a person who was trying to pose as your friend. He also may need you to reassure him that you have done nothing to try to attract this man's attention. Don't be aggravated with him for caring. Be flattered that he does and let him know that you are.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:52 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Im mad at your husband for being a selfish ass.
    Maybe he is just jealous that no one thinks he should be in a threesome with them?
    You did nothing wrong and they were just asking.
    It is only a problem if you do it or they keep on asking.
    Tell your hasband to quit being so insecure.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 4:02 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • *that was supposed to be husband not hasband. See how upset I am at him!? My fiance acts stupid like that too! grr...
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 4:03 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I dont know what to say that would help but thats not right that hes mad at you. Its not like you jumped in bed with the guy! My hubby would be mad at the guy but at the same time he would be like hell yeah and shes all mine! lol and im the same way whe i find out that a girl is trying to go after him. Although if she pushes herself to far with him im not going to just stand there. Ill go off on her lol.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 4:23 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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