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17 yo got into my email - reprimand?

My 17 yo daughter somehow got into my email account, and saw things that I wish she hadn't seen, mainly that I'm having a "friends with benefits" relationship someone, and have sent various pics to him that I would never, ever have wanted my daughter to see (yes, some were a bit raunchy, but were never intended for her to see).

When I tried to reprimand her about looking at my personal emails, she apologized but said things like "well at least now I know you're a worse slut than I'd ever be." I felt like I did NOT deserve that kind of harsh response, and I told her that I'm 38 and have a right to my private life. But I worry that I've ruined my credibility with her. How do I get that back after something like this?


Asked by krnrobey71 at 4:44 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (4)
  • Is it possible she found it accidentally, not intentionally? See if you can forgive yourself for your harsh and nasty judgement.

    Yes, you.

    You've done something you're ashamed of (or you wouldn't mind who found out) -- and continue to do it, even though it makes you feel bad about yourself. You feel your choice is indefensible (which is why you run the 'privacy' defence and try the 'you are the one who did something wrong' attack).

    Lighten up on yourself. If being in this kind of casual relationship suits you (and if it didn't, you wouldn't be in it), that's fine. If it is not fine, end it now and never repeat it. You'll know if you really think it is fine, or not, based on what you actually choose to do. Not what you talk about or what you claim to want -- what you do is the only indicator of what you actually believe.

    Your daughter would have humanized you soon, anyhow. This just triggered it. Try being real.

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:12 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • OUCH!!! and yes, she should be in trouble. your entitled to your privacy and regardless to what she saw, YOUR THE PARENT!!! she should still respect you. your sex life is all yours, im guessing you guys dont have an open relationship about sex.

    From experience i saw some text messages in my moms phone awhile back (we used to have the exact same phones so getting them mixed up was common) but after i read what i read it was shocking!!! but we dont have an open relationship which sucks! i wished i couldve been more open with her. If you could use this as a door way to talk about things like that it may be a good out come to something brutal!!!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 4:48 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • sounds like she's going to have a valid excuse in her mind now to be with guys, you both need to talk about this the sooner the better. yucky situation

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:52 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Joke around about it, lighten up. Just be like, atleast I get laid lol. Tell her its ok to do stuff like that and if she did it you would feel weird too.

    Answer by MammaBella at 9:08 PM on Jun. 2, 2009