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I want to adopt. How do you deal with this?

I am sure other mothers who want to adopt can relate. I really want to adopt I know it will when or if it is suppose too. I can't help it though I am getting really down today. I long to hold our little one. My heart is aching. Other mothers who want to adopt when you feel sad what do you do. How do you make yourself feel okay?


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Asked by Ilovemydoggies at 5:46 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (9)
  • There are many, many kids in the foster care system that would LOVE to find a loving home, with a mommy and a daddy, and older siblings to teach them things.....You could be a huge blessing to a lonely child out there, are you looking for infants only?

    Answer by christyg at 8:10 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I went through years of heartache, prayers and tears wanting so much to adopt a child. I never gave up, even when the years passed- even when we did not have the tons of money to go through an agency-even to our surprise that there were no children in our state's foster care under 5 to adopt. I never stopped praying. I never gave up hope -If anyone knew how much a child meant to me God knew! I could not ever imagine my life without a child. Children have always played a major role in my life. I was a nanny for many years even for 2 adopted children. I helped raise 2 children for a mom who was in a rough situation, until she could get herself straightened out. Those 2 children are still a part of my life. We finally had our prayers answered, and we have our son!! Seeing his smiling face every morning is proof that miracles can and do happen. His birthmom will forever hold a special place in our hearts.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:13 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • It might be a good idea to pursue adoption through several avenues at once. You could be listed with more than one agency, pursuing agency adoption and foster-adopt at the same time, and putting the word out to everyone you know in case they hear of a situation. We had been together 15 years by the time DD was born, ttc for 8 1/2 years and trying to adopt for 4 1/2 years. We ttc at the same time as we tried to find a baby to adopt. We were also in the process of beginning to work with a second agency when we learned that an emom wanted to meet us. Don't give up!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:08 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • (((hugs))) been there. Be encouraged. Your time WILL come.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Oh yes, I understan. I feel the same way. I keep telling myself ..." the time will come"...

    Answer by DionneTX at 5:35 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • You have 3 kids already? I know the feeling, but I have a child & I cannot compare myself to a woman that has never had a child before.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I do know the feeling you are going thru but at the time I never wanted an infant and instead we adopted 3 wonderful little girls (5, 6, 7) that I wouldn;t trade for anything. They're all grown up now and we have several grandchildren. They are as much mine as if I gave birth to them. Please consider the joys of adopting siblings or older children. Yes they come with troubles but think about many of the kids born to parents that also have troubles. It's actually pretty much the same. They love to hug and cuddle and actually you get the joy of hearing them say I love you momma much sooner then with a baby. You also see the joy in their eyes when they realize that they are home and how much you love them.

    Answer by baconbits at 11:57 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • When we made the decision to adopt, we knew it would probably take a while. We're going thru CPS and have been 3 years in so far (including the time it took to get licensed). During the times we were waiting for the next "curve-ball" to pass, we'd have people tell us that the baby that was going to need us hadn't been born yet, and that has been true 3 times. (We started in 2006, and have had 2 children born in 2007 & one in 2008 (plus one older child from 2004)). Two of them have moved on, we currently have one in care. Sometimes in foster care, the children need you for a just a little while and sometimes forever. We are hoping for a forever child soon. We don't regret the ones who have left as we did what we were supposed to do for as long as we were needed to do it. We wait for God's plan for our family. It keeps us from getting ahead of ourselves.


    Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:41 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • As far as you having 3 children so far, at first I thought that the feeling wouldn't compare to never having had children, but then I think of a friend of mine who had 4 wonderful boys and decided their family was done having kids. Then about 8 years later, she regretted DH having a vasectomy and wanted more children. They decided to adopt. They, after hearing Steven Curtis Chapman speak about their adoption from China, decided to adopt a baby girl from China. It still took them about 2 years to get her and during that time, they wondered if it would never happen. But then it did! They then added a 2nd infant girl from China about 2 years after that. So, while the wait may be long, in due time it will happen---right when it's supposed to. Until then, I feel like we are learning patience and understanding and that will make us better parents. At least that's how I feel about the process. Don't give up, hang in there! Good luck!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:15 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

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