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His ex- wife Drama

My hubby's ex- wife is always feeding his 3 kids cookies for breakfast becasue she never gets up in time to actually cook breakfast or even give them a bowl of cereal or something healthy so instead she pops them in the van and gives them a choc. chip cookie on Tuesdays when they come home to us in the morning I always ask the kids what they had for breakfast because if they had a cookie I want to make sure I fix them something nutritious before I send them out the door for the bus... So, today she comes over freaking out that I'm asking the kids what they had for breakfast..... I had to shut the door in her face and ask her to leave my property because she was screaming and making a scene... am I wrong for that? I am concerned for the children and thier nutritonal needs.....

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thomaspartyof7

Asked by thomaspartyof7 at 8:00 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • No, you're not wrong at all. She should be thanking you that you love her children enough to feed them properly!!
    ABryn1011

    Answer by ABryn1011 at 8:02 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I wish that were the case but she is not the type to Thank me.....she left my hubby to hae an affair but yet she still wants to control things over here at our House. I completely understand these are HER kids with my hubby, but he has custody, and she has visitation..that right there says something in itself.... most men don't get custody of thier kids..it's rare. Anyway, she is always making waves over here.. constantly making a complaint about something I do.....I have 2 girls so together we have 5 kids and currently I am pregnant.. due in October.... seems like the further along I get the more complicated she gets....
    thomaspartyof7

    Answer by thomaspartyof7 at 8:07 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I wonder if you would wait until she is out of ear shot to ask the kids or was it your intention for her to hear you. If you are truly wanting to meet the needs of the children, keeping their mental health and security in mind you would try not to have confrontations with their mother in front of them. I could be wrong but it sounds like you don't like this woman and are looking to put her in her place. It is wonderful that you want to be sure to put the children on the bus with a nutritious breakfast. Don't say anything to mama and have things ready to go for them when she drops them off. No confrontation needed, that is your husbands territory. Love the kids, it sounds like they need you.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 8:10 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I NEVER ask the children in front of her, Always after I pick them up on our way home for being with her. I have no beef with her and as a person thinks she is great.... She only knows I asked them about breakfast because she was questioning them and they told her I ask them. I was not the one who came to my house screamig like a mad woman, she was.. I even asked her 3 times to stop screaming and she continued.... Like I said my concern is for the kids.... she on the other hand is more concerned about me and what I do..... like I said she has made things increasingly stressful since I became pregnant....
    thomaspartyof7

    Answer by thomaspartyof7 at 8:17 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • OH, AND WE WERE OUTSIDE AND THE KIDS WERE AT SCHOOL. So they did not hear her screaming.
    thomaspartyof7

    Answer by thomaspartyof7 at 8:20 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • ooo hun, you are better than me...i prob. wouldve just slapped her. my temper is so much worse than it used to be. you worry about you and the children. ask them all you want. as long as you never bad mouth her to them your fine. other wise they can sit back and watch her act a fool, and you rise above it. When they get older they will look back and apreciate it. trust me i know from experience. i admire my mom for never bad mouthing my father for the dirt back he is...i know its hard but you did the right thing slaming the door in her face. i wouldve!!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 8:25 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I've never bashed her in front of the children, no need to do that.. it's not neccessary. My ex hubby is also a dirt bag but to my kids he is he almighty and I want them to keep that in thier hearts forever, what he did to me has no effect on his love for them. The same goes for my hubbys ex-wife.... regardless of what happened with them she is still thier mother, I respect that bond. I just wish she would back -off of me.. It's like I can never do anything right , or up to her satisfacion.... like I am not good enough to raise her kids....
    thomaspartyof7

    Answer by thomaspartyof7 at 8:29 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • It was a simple question. Not your fault her own guilt over not doing what is right got the better of her.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:56 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Hmmm..I'm kinda on the fence on this one. A cookie for breakfast once a week isn't going to hurt them. Especially if their MOTHER says it's ok. She may feel like you're trying to usurp her authority by asking them is they had a cookie for breakfast. That's just MY opinion. Why not have their FATHER inquire about their breakfast? I think that if it comes from him rather than from you, she won't get so offended.

    Her idea of breakfast may not be yours (obviously it isn't). But that doesn't make yours BETTER than hers. You see what I'm saying?
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:23 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Maybe in the future you could just have some food ready...if they are hungry, then they can help themselves (like fruit, dry cereal and milk, muffins, toast, etc). Then it won't seem so obvious.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:26 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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